I Had To Be On Drugs

29Mar2010 Filed under: MelB's post Author: Cece

My day used to start around six in the morning. Or if I was really pushing it, seven. I would wake the children up to get ready for school. By 7:20 I had be on the road to the babysitter’s house and my children’s school. By 7:55 I had to be at work. Really pushing it at 7:59. I’d worked until five in the afternoon. Either I had to go to school until 10 p.m. or go home to cook and do homework. Somehow I wrote more than six books with this schedule.

I had to be on crack.

Now I can actually see the time in my day where I can be a mom, work, and write. The time doesn’t exactly balance out, but there is time to give everything equal measure. For the life of me I can’t find the creative well to write. When I could barely think in coherent sentences I wrote hundreds, thousands of words. Now a week can go by and writing doesn’t even cross my mind. Since I’ve gotten used to my process I’m not really worried about this lull. But the fact is I had this fountain of energy pouring of our my mind and fingers–what it seems like–all the time during this difficult time.

And I’m not necessarily questioning why I’m not writing now-now. It’s March. I just don’t write in March. I tinker. I edit. I angst, but I don’t create in March. When I break into a Big NY I’m going to figure out a way to finagle a schedule around these dry months. (Or just write EARLY) What I’m questioning is where did all the stamina come from. I should have been exhausted. My brain should have been dribbling at every turn.

What is it about my life being a complete cluster “patch” *Ha. You know that’s not the word I was thinking* that makes me more productive? It’s not a new idea. I’ve always worked better when I had five minutes to write than all day to write. I really want to figure out the key to this conundrum. Is it the feeling I get knowing this is the only time I can write. Is it my way of working out all the kinks of my day to escape into another world that isn’t less demanding, but real on some level. Maybe I can use to my advantage. Or just ask ya’ll to see if I’m the only nut bag who works well under pressure.

When are you the most creative? During peaceful–I’ve got all day to do this–times or when you are down to the wire and it’s now or never?

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4 Responses to “I Had To Be On Drugs”

Dennie ~
March 29th, 2010 at 12:58 pm

I am an under-the-wire person. If I have time, I put everything off to do it one time. Dunno why, always have. maybe it’s the adrenaline burst I need to push through.
BernardL
March 30th, 2010 at 2:25 pm

I don’t have a reliable jump start for creativity when it shuts off for a time. The only thing that seems to work consistently for me is to write something – whether it’s a funny story, an encounter with someone, or about something that I see I don’t like. Sooner or later something clicks and the idea machine starts rolling again. Pressure doesn’t work for me. I’d hate to write with a deadline hanging over my head.
Lynn
March 31st, 2010 at 5:20 pm

When they were babies my kids trained me to write in ten-to-twenty minute sessions while they were napping, or at night when I really was so tired I could have happily dropped into a coma on the keyboard. Now that they’re teenagers they’re far more self-sufficient, but being involved in their school projects, activities and interests keep me just as busy. So while I have longer writing sessions, and a whole five hours of peace and quiet during the weekdays, I find I’m still as tired as I was as a new mom. Taking advantage of writing time early in the day is really important.

As for creativity, I never relied on those feelings before I turned pro; I knew I had to keep at it to improve no matter how I felt about what I was doing. I think that helped separate the art from the craft (I still spend plenty on time angsting over my work, just not while I’m working on it.) Because I write for a living I regard it just like any job I’ve had and keep to a routine work schedule, and I think that helps, along with morning meditation.
vanessa jaye
April 3rd, 2010 at 2:17 pm

I’m probaly most creatively bent in the early morning. Unfortunately i suffer from chronic insomnia lately, which makes me much prefer squeezing out as much of those ‘snooze’ minutes in the morning before I drag my but out of bed rather than roll out of the sack early enough to squeeze some extra writing in. I’m going to have to change that up.