mouth-full-of-bitter-ash-of-failure

I had another post written but then I watched this video from Elizabeth Gilbert. I didn’t read Eat. Pry. Love. but when I get the money I’m definitely picking it up now. She talked about people approaching her and asking “Aren’t you scared you’ll never write anything as succssful?” and how she dealt with those fears. It made me think of how I dealt with my own big huge failure as an author.

I didn’t prepare myself for the reality of publishing.

I was told that a new author needed to build a readership. I believed I did that with maintaining a blog, a website, visiting those yahoo loops, guest blog posts, having friends chat me up on their blog, visiting/commenting on other people’s blogs, joining forums. Networking, networking NETWORKING! Getting my name out there, because people can’t buy your book if people don’t know you exist. I rationalized my low sales on my first book had everythig to do with not doing enough. I did more and when my second book came around I figured I had done above and beyond enough with the means I had to spend and the time I gave to promote.

I didn’t prepare myself for the heartbreak.

I was told repeatly by people that book is not baby, but being a single parent I have little else to compare my publishing experience with. Trust me when you are pregnant women love to tell you about the hours of labor and describe the pain. (Pushing a watermelon through your nose. Yes, that’s how it was described to me once.) Doesn’t matter if the women has never been pregnant she’ll tell you about her sister/mother/cousin. And people told me that this business can break you. But just like labor you can’t understand it until you’ve lived it. (Oh, and apparently anyone who has had to pass a kidney stone.) Of course I read and heard the stories of never getting published, getting published and getting dropped, low sales, you name it. I told myself I could stand strong against it all, but I secretly hoped it’ll be different for me. (Hey, I was 22.)

Even though in all those respects I’m an utter failure as an author, I can’t say my mouth is full of bitter ash. Yes, there are times when I feel like that all this work is for nothing. I’m not bitter. I’ve succeeded in writing stories I’m damn proud of. I’ve succeeded in making relationships. Those big huge failrues start to pale in comparison to all those little successes.

So wht in the hell do I have to be bitter about?

Tell me how your failures pale in comparison? And if right now you can’t that’s ok too.