Southern Fried Chicas

Thanksgiving turned out the way it always does. I spent ten hours in the kitchen and they spent fifteen minutes shoveling food into their mouths.  They barely even paused to taste it. After that, it was time to clean up the mess. Um, don’t get me wrong.  I actually did enjoy spending time with my family, it’s just that I wish they could appreciate how much work goes into me cooking all those tasty dishes. But enough of me whining….

Below are nine topics. Respond to what moves you, ignore what doesn’t … or discuss whatever tickles your fancy.

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1. QUESTION OF THE WEEK

In the romantic comedy Someone Like You, Ashley Judd plays a TV producer who’s frustrated with her failed love life. She believes all men are basically animals and cannot be faithful because it’s in their DNA to cheat. So she comes up with this crazy theory equating men with bulls. According to her research, bulls will only mate with a cow once, and even when given the same cow again the bull will ignore the old cow and move on to the next. Why? Because it’s old cow and the bull wants newcow…

Okay, I’m digressing BIG TIME. Bottom line is, she takes her man/cow/bull theory and creates this phony PHD expert alter-ego for an article on the subject. Her friend aids and abets her, and they even find a picture of some older woman to pose as this fictional PHD, using it in their promotions and later the article is picked up by several media sources. This fictional expert then gets famous.

What’s my point? Well, after shopping for books on Amazon, I couldn’t help but notice ONCE AGAIN that a particular reviewer seems to have read just about EVERY BOOK in Amazon’s catalog. I did some Googling and found several hundred articles, many of which say that if the woman is to be taken seriously, she must be reading at least 40 or 50 books a day. Many believe she’s a phony. Many others believe she’s a group of people. So what’s the deal? Is Harriet Klausner a real person, a computer program, a company or a figment of all our imaginations?

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2. OH, COME ON!

I just read an article over on i09 titled, “Official:  Twilight Bella & Edward Are In An Abusive Relationship.”

“If you’ve suspected that there’s something unhealthy about the relationship between Bella and Edward in the phenomenally successful Twilight series, then it turns out that you’re exactly right. In fact, there are fifteen examples of unhealthiness.”

You can go HERE to read the fifteen points they’re citing.

MY TAKE: Hello!!! It’s fantasy. Okay? Fiction. Make believe. You know, a world where the monster underneath your bed actually EXISTS????

First off, I don’t know any 100+ year old vampires who look like 17-year-old boys. Number two, I’ve never met a boy who could turn into a werewolf. Number three, if I were a 17-year-old girl living in a world filled with dangerous vampires, werewolves and other strange creatures, having two strong, sexy and devoted boyfriends to protect me from being eaten by said strange critters wouldn’t be a bad thing.  But that’s just me.  Then again, my teenagers have seen the movie.  One has even read the book and they have an amazing ability to separate fact from fiction.  What’s more, when faced with a real-world situation (READ:  Crazy boyfriend/stalker) my daughter didn’t even blink before dropping him.

Sure some girls get caught up in these abusive relationships, but don’t tell me a story about alpha werewolves and vampires living in a crazy supernatural world has the power to brainwash an entire teenage population.  Now if you had a film about a real-world possessive/crazy boyfriend and a silly girl who’s just as obsessed with him, then yeah, I’d toot the horn with you.  But this is like comparing apples and cheese doodles! Twilight is fantasy.  Vampire and werewolf boyfriends don’t exist.  Jeez! These people suck all the fun out of everything.

No pun intended.

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3.  REDUX

We’ve been inundated with a number of movie remakes. And sometimes the actors cast in these roles don’t quite work out.  Case in point:  Gaspard Ulliel still doesn’t do it for me as young Anthony Hopkins’ Hannibal Lector, although I do believe he’s a very gifted actor.  I also think if his film was a standalone version without Hopkins’ involvement in the character, then Ulliel’s portrayal would’ve worked for me.  Like I said, the kid has great acting chops.

On the other hand, Vince Vaughn TOTALLY FAILED as Norman Bates.  Anthony Perkins he was not. And after viewing clips from the Stepfather remake, it’s my humble opinion that Dylan Walsh isn’t fit to tie Terry O’Quinn’s shoes!

But what about the recasts that actually work? I have to say I was pleasantly surprised after watching J.J. Abrams’ Star Trek. I think Zachary Quinto as Mr. Spock is (apart from Heath Ledger in The Dark Knight) one of the best recasts I’ve seen in the past five years. Not only does he LOOK like Leonard Nimoy as Spock, but he’s got Spock down pat AND he even manages to add a human element to the character that Nimoy wasn’t allowed to explore.

What’s more, Quinto’s performance was enhanced because of the help he got from Nimoy.  During the shoot Nimoy was there giving Quinto guidance and support when needed.  The two even became good friends. I remember seeing in the Special Features during an interview with Nimoy where he said he both looked forward to the shoot and he’d also dreaded it. The chance to be Spock again was wonderful, but in the same instance, he was saying goodbye and passing the torch to a younger actor. Even so, he was a professional throughout and gave of himself freely. For that, I will always admire him.

FWIW, I also thought most of the other recasts in the Star Trek movie were spot on.

What are your favorite and least favorite movie recasts?

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4. THEY JUST WON’T STOP

Quirk Books has now made a book trailer for Sense and Sensibility and Sea Monsters. I have to admit I laughed out loud at this. The company plans to bring a 30-second version of this trailer to TVs and theaters across the country. God help us all! LOL

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5. GONE TOO SOON

Favorite series canceled way before their time:

What are some of yours?

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6. WHY! WHY! WHY!

Sometime ago after the 100th rejection, I began to think my critique partners were lying me. Seriously. I did. I just couldn’t understand how several people could get warm fuzzies from my work, while editors were left feeling cold. That is, until I came across this lovely blog post over at Edittorrent. Here are some of my favorites excerpts:

Top Ten Reasons Why the Editor Doesn’t Applaud What Your Crit Group Loved:

10) The critique group knows … the context of your story and how much you’ve improved … But the editor knows only what you submit.

9) The critique group sees things scene by scene, by the editor sees the manuscript as a whole ….The crit group [has] never read the entire book and so not notice if one scene is out of place.

Nicely written, but (insert trendy plot device) is so last year, or will be next year anyway… so the editor has to scout ahead and imagine what will be appealing to readers not right now, but in 12 months.

4) Your critique group is probably filled with experienced readers who get a kick out of something new and fresh. The editor might too until she remembers that she’s not the target audience.

3) Your critique group … thinks it’s just the high-concept the publisher is looking for…. What they don’t realize, however, is that the editor knows more: We have another book with a similar premise coming out in three months.

1) Your critique [thinks it's a great book] However [the editor may be thinking]: I love it, but my boss will hate it… I remember an editor-in-chief refusing a book because the heroine had the name of an ex-girlfriend. The author offered to change the name no go.

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7. BLAST FROM THE PAST

Origins of the Moonwalk

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8. NANO SUCCESS OR FAIL?

Well, if you participated, how’d you do?

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9. FAIL! FAIL! FAIL!

Click the pictures to enlarge.

What NOT to get your kids for Christmas

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MAJOR, MAJOR, MAJOR Product FAIL!!!

Go to this Amazon.com link PLEASE and first look at the product, then check out the photos provided by the customers below the product picture. Then scroll down to read the customer reviews. The whole thing is absolutely HILARIOUS! You will have tears in your eyes!