Southern Fried Chicas

In case there are some of you out there who hadn’t noticed the date—Happy Friday the 13th!

Yes, this is the day that’s supposed to be “unlucky”. The fear of this day is called paraskevidekatriaphobia.
I’ve actually known people who were really afraid of this. They went through the day looking over their shoulders, expecting something awful to happen—even staying at home, hiding out in safety.

I thought we might celebrate the day by moving Jason Voorheer, villain of all of the “Friday the 13th” films into the writing arena.
Why?
Because it’s just the place for someone who occasionally dons different masks, spends long periods of time behind closed doors, and refuses to give up and die, no matter how many times he’s cut down.

FRIDAY THE 13th, PART 232: JASON AT TWILIGHT
Jason is resurrected at Camp Crystal and, as his way of reforming, goes on the hunt for the young lovers of the “Twilight” saga because they’re the only teenagers in the world who’re NOT having sex.

FRIDAY THE 13th, PART 347: JASON JOINS THE RWA
Jason is resurrected at Camp Crystal and kills the digital authors in retreat there, because those e-readers are a bitch to manage through the holes of a hockey mask.

FRIDAY THE 13th, PART 455: JASON MEETS NOAH WEBSTER
Jason is resurrected at Camp Crystal and exacts revenge on all the kids, now established writers, who made fun of him in his first creative writing class because he couldn’t properly spell the word “machete”.

FRIDAY THE 13th, PART 523: JASON’S SLICE OF LIFE
Jason is resurrected at Camp Crystal and hires ghost writers to pen his memoirs, then cuts them down when they over-embellish, giving new meaning to the expression “hack writer”.

FRIDAY THE 13th, PART 698: JASON’S SONG
Jason is resurrected at Camp Crystal, where he meets his match as 100 NanoWrimo authors mistake him for an internal editor and rip him to bloody bits with their teeth (cue music: ki-ki-ki-ki-ki-ki-no-mo-no-mo-no-mo…).

FRIDAY THE 13th, PART 999: THE CRUELEST CUT
Jason is resurrected at Camp Crystal and takes the ultimate job as a final, final, final, final, FINAL line editor.