This week is the same as last, without the toxic fish. I’ve got 8 topics below. Respond to what you like, ignore what you don’t, or think up your own topic.

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1. ZOMBIE-FIED LITERATURE AND SACRILEGE

The date: 2000 years ago.
The place: Bethlehem
 A savior is born to planet earth …. at least that’s how it was supposed to happen. But what if the bright Star that guided the shepherds to the King of Kings was actually a space ship beaming a changeling into the manger?  An alien vampire zombie baby Jesus who came not to save the world, but to destroy it! So goes the fast-paced horror/thriller/romance penned by debut author Tanya Holmes  in her new bestselling novel titled, Zombie Jesus—Alien Armageddon.


First off, that was complete b******* okay?  I haven’t penned a zombie book.  And I believe Jesus is God and Savior of the world so hopefully the Lord will forgive me for writing that crap.  Anyway, that said, you’re probably asking, “Hey, Tanya, what’s with the absurd (and extremely sacrilegious) alien vampire zombie blurb?” Well, I did it out of frustration because of the deluge of nonsense I’ve been seeing in the way of book deals and Hollywood movies. Amie sent the Chicas an email announcing the latest vampire/zombie/werewolf literature mash-up that’s hit the cloudy land of publishing. This following a previous email where she dug up an old movie featuring Jesus as a vampire hunter. LOL What’s my point? I guess I don’t have one other than I’m sick of the zombification/vampirization/werewolvization of religion, literature and tinsel town. I’m sick of people digging up poor Jane Austen, the Brontes and other literary greats just so they can pick over these people’s bones. Pride and Prejudice and Zombies was cute. Abraham Lincoln–Vampire Hunter was mildly amusing, but now we’ve got MAJOR pile-on!

Writers: STOP IT! Enough already!  Keep the freaking vampires, aliens, zombies and werewolves away from Mr. Darcy, Jesus, Albert Einstein, Heathcliff, Eleanor Roosevelt, the girls in Little Women, Jane Eyre, Emma, Mr. Rochester and anybody else who’s not here to defend themselves!  Here’s a novel idea. Make up your own characters.  For the love of God, please leave our historical, literature and religious icons alone!

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2. NANO ANYONE?

Well, is you is, or is you ain’t?

Me?

Ain’t.

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3.THE DEATH OF THE NOVEL

Author Philip Roth predicts the novel will be DOA in 25 years. He says books can’t possibly compete with the movie/TV/computer screen.

“I was being optimistic about 25 years really. I think it’s going to be cultic. I think always people will be reading them but it will be a small group of people. Maybe more people than now read Latin poetry, but somewhere in that range …. “[T]he print that’s the problem, it’s the book, the object itself. To read a novel requires a certain amount of concentration, focus, devotion to the reading. If you read a novel in more than two weeks you don’t read the novel really. So I think that kind of concentration and focus and attentiveness is hard to come by “ it’s hard to find huge numbers of people, large numbers of people, significant numbers of people, who have those qualities.”

You know, he might have a point. My husband and I are voracious readers. My kids, not so much. They’re more content staring at a computer or TV screen than cracking a book open. It’s even a miracle that I got my son to start reading The Lightning Thief. And the only reason he’s even reading the book series is because the movie is coming out! People’s attention spans have dwindled and our children are no exception. There’s just too much to do and too much going on for them to sit still and read. They’d rather be playing Playstation and Xbox. Or watching a DVD on their computer. It’s truly frightening. An agent recently said on her blog that her sales indicate the novel is here to stay. I happen to think her sales are great because adults are still in the habit of buying books, but the generation coming up now isn’t as fascinated with them as we are. I think Roth’s “prophecy” may be spot on. What say you?

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4. BLAST FROM THE PAST

This is still hilarious.

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5.BAH HUMBUG!

Unbelievable! They haven’t even started shoving Thanksgiving down our throats yet and they’re already advertising Christmas. What is it with retailers and TV anyway? Why do they have to start with the overkill so soon? Since the holiday sales drive has begun, I’ll jump on the bandwagon, but instead of asking  what you want for Christmas, I’d like to know what you DON’T want. I’ll start:

1. Your re-gifts. If you didn’t want them, what makes you think I do?
2. Fruitcake. Yes, there is a fruitcake that’s been circulating around the country for decades and it came into my house last Christmas. I managed to stash it in my grandmother’s suitcase.
3. Any of those things that only come on TV during Christmas time and disappear soon after. Like the Clapper and the Chia Pet.
4. Perfume. Since some people hate woodsy scents, while others hate the smell of fruit, and still others cannot abide anything that has rose petals in it, it would be best to avoid making a mistake. Everybody doesn’t like the same smells.

Okay, I’ve given four things. What don’t YOU want for Christmas?

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6.WHATCHA READING:


I’m going through her backlist since it appears that she’s not writing anymore.

WATCHING ON DVD

My Netflix queue was getting kinda boring so I went venturing for something new in the TV show section. I had never watched one episode of Desperate Housewives or House. Got my first installments last week and now I’m hooked. Especially on House.

HouseMy God, that guy is sexy as heck. I mean, he’s the most unpleasant character on television, but damn if he doesn’t make me just want to snuggle up to him. I love brilliant, but tortured men, and House is definitely that! Now I have five seasons to go through without commercials or having to wait a week for a single episode.  Yippie!

Desperate Housewives is another surprise. I always thought it was a version of Dallas meets Melrose Place, which is why I avoided it. I now see it’s more like American Gothic meets, Sex In The City and Knots Landing.  The most surprising thing is that it’s soooooooooo dark. I had no idea.

Now I’m loving it.

LISTENING TO:


Amie just sent me this book and I got through the first chapter only to realize my favorite reader (Victor Slezak) had just released the Audio CD version!!! SQUEEE!!! Sandra Brown is one of my favorite authors. This combined with Victor’s smoky voice was a MUST HAVE. So I bought the audio book! :-)   Now I’m listening and reading along.

WRITING:

A paranormal (with no aliens or zombies)

How about you?

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7. SCREENPLAY IQ

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HER: Tell me the truth.
HIM: The truth?
HER: Please, you can do that, can’t you? You can do that… can’t you, please?
HIM: What do you think you heard?
HER: It’s not what I heard… it’s what I saw. I saw Joey. I saw you turn into Joey right before my eyes. I saw a killer, the one Fogarty warned me about. You did kill men back in Philly, didn’t you? Did you do it for money? Or did you do it because you enjoyed it?
HIM: Joey did, both. I didn’t. Tom Stall didn’t.

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MALE NARRATOR: Nothing from that first day I saw her, and no one that has happened to me since, has ever been as frightening and as confusing. For no person I’ve ever known has ever done more to make me feel more sure, more insecure, more important, and less significant.

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HER: You are not my husband! You are not [him], so why do you keep going on pretending that you are!?!
HIM: How do you know I’m not!?!
HER: I know because…
HIM: How do you know!?!
HER: I know because…
HIM: How do you know!!!!
HER: I know because I never loved him the way that I love you!
HIM: (Gazes into her eyes) Now Laurel tell me, from the bottom of your heart. Am I your husband?
HER: (Hesitates with tears in her eyes) Yes, you are.

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HIM TO HER: You know what’s wrong with you, Miss Whoever-you-are? You’re chicken, you’ve got no guts. You’re afraid to stick out your chin and say, “Okay, life’s a fact, people do fall in love, people do belong to each other, because that’s the only chance anybody’s got for real happiness. You call yourself a free spirit, a “wild thing,” and you’re terrified somebody’s gonna stick you in a cage. Well baby, you’re already in that cage. You built it yourself. And it’s not bounded in the west by Tulip, Texas, or in the east by Somali-land. It’s wherever you go. Because no matter where you run, you just end up running into yourself. [Takes engagement ring and throws it in her lap] Here. I’ve been carrying this thing around for months. I don’t want it anymore.

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HIM: Would you just stay with me?
HER: Stay with you? What for? Look at us, we’re already fightin’!
HIM: Well that’s what we do, we fight… You tell me when I am being an arrogant son of a bitch and I tell you when you are a pain in the ass. Which you are, 99% of the time. I’m not afraid to hurt your feelings. You have like a 2 second rebound rate, then you’re back doing the next pain-in-the-ass thing.
HER: So what?
HIM: So it’s not gonna be easy. It’s gonna be really hard. We’re gonna have to work at this every day, but I want to do that because I want you. I want all of you, for ever, you and me, every day. Will you do something for me, please? Just picture your life for me? 30 years from now, 40 years from now? What’s it look like? If it’s with him, go. Go! I lost you once, I think I can do it again. If I thought that’s what you really wanted. But don’t you take the easy way out.

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8. FAIL! FAIL! FAIL!