Just another damn group blog!
So the other day I was talking to my mom. She’d just finished reading THE COWBOY PLAN. She kept telling me she just couldn’t understand how I could write from beginning to end book after book. “How do you come up with so many ideas?” In my mind, I’m thinking how does someone NOT. I am ALWAYS thinking on writing things. I worry people think I am weird (yeah, I know they do anyway–but as long as it’s for the right reason, y’know)Â because I just stare at them or things. Usually it’s because something about them has triggered a thought that transitions to something else and so on and so on until I am ten tangents away.
Mother dear continued to gush a bit and admitted she’d tried to write a book. Twice. But couldn’t make it go any where. I was surprised. I’d never known that. But then she says it. “But I don’t write what you write.”
Scratching my head. “Oh, you mean it’s more literary fiction?”
“No. It’s not porn.” If a voice could be referred to as ‘said with a straight face’ that’d be hers.
I honestly can’t remember my reactions–whether I laughed or choked–or maybe a combo of both. I can’t say that I am necessarily offended by this (she’s been saying it in one degree or another from the first book of mine she read). Still that was the boldest she’d ever pointed it out …. LOL
Obviously by her reaction, there is sex in my books–but now that I say that, maybe not so obvious. Different people have different thresholds for how they think sex should or shouldn’t be represented in books. Still, I’ve never really thought of my books as porn. Smut maybe, but not porn. And yes to me there is a different–but I couldn’t say I can put my finger on it. Maybe merely symantics.
Let’s take what I write for instance… My romance novels all (minus one) have ‘open door’ sex scenes (which if you don’t know what that means–behind closed doors sex scene is where it’s implied what they did and open door, it spells it out–and there are degrees to that). I have not written anything overly kinky or risqué–not that there’s anything wrong with it, I just haven’t (yet). My comfort level for what to include has risen from one book to the next. The first book I finished had one ‘behind closed doors’ sex scene–that’s right mama, you heard it. Just one and it wasn’t spelled out. My most recently published book (GofC) had four or five sex scenes (she hasn’t read that one yet… LOL).
A side note: the books she read in the 80s make mine pale in comaprison on the kink/sex factor–so some of it may be that it’s  her child writing the “porn” more than anything
I own up to what I write: I enjoy writing it. I enjoy reading it and I will continue, much to the mixed chagrin/pride of my mama.
vanessa jaye
November 3rd, 2009 at 9:17 am
I have one friend in particular who thinks I’m wasting my talents. She thinks I could do *so much better* than writing what I do, and has called my book–which she thought was good, and enjoyed–porn (albeit, porn, she couldn’t put down–her words. lol) And she did buy two copies of my book in support.
My son has asked me if I’ll ever write a book he can read. lol.
What are you gonna do? ::shrug:: People will think what they do, and I’ll write what I want.
Raine
November 3rd, 2009 at 8:59 am
I feel ya, lol.
I don’t even discuss my books with my family. No point to it. They wouldn’t read them, even though it’s me, definitely wouldn’t approve of them. I’ve even given copies to a couple of them, and they STILL haven’t read them. Most of ‘em don’t even know what I write.
Generally, I’m cool with that (ok–I don’t really give a damn). As you said–different people have different thresholds, belief systems, etc. I’d like to think if I had a daughter/sister/friend writing hot romance, I’d be proud of them, as long as they told a good story.
But how interesting that your mom wanted to write too! I’ll bet she’s secretly bursting for you.
Amie Stuart
November 3rd, 2009 at 9:34 am
Uh Yeah dude, YOUR SISTER. And if you write porn, Denise, what do I write?
Dennie ~
November 3rd, 2009 at 9:45 am
she’s secretly bursting for you
I will say, she tells everyone she’s ever met (and I kid you not–as a clerk at Barnes and Noble told me once, “Oh I remember your mom was telling me about you *gushmuch*) that I’m her daughter, the author…LOL that’s how she addresses me
Dennie ~
November 3rd, 2009 at 9:48 am
the thing is when I thing of “porn” I think of the hustler stories and the “adult films” where there’s little to no story. Just boinking for boink sake–but that’s my perception. I’m sure there some perfect story based porn movies…
a neighbor kid asked if he could read what I write. I told him when he’s 18. My kids do not care one whit. I have my books lying around here and there and as far as I know, they haven’t lent them out or anything
Dennie ~
November 3rd, 2009 at 9:50 am
LOL… who knows. As far as I care to think she doesn’t even actually know what sex is. She’s been single for the past 18 years–and I will not even think about her #2 hubby so to her a chaste kiss on the cheek is getting freaky–it works in reverse too…LOL
Charlene Teglia
November 3rd, 2009 at 9:53 am
I pretty much think family members shouldn’t read books. Because they’ll see things that aren’t there. They can’t *not* see it in light of “My *insert relative* wrote this”.
vanessa jaye
November 3rd, 2009 at 10:54 am
I came back to say, I don’t write particularly ‘kinky’ either. More ol’ skool Linda Howard with the heat ramped up.
My friend is in two church choirs, goes to mass every week (she’s even been on a pilgrimage to some shrine or what not.) and she’s not a romance reader at all, so that has a lot to do with her reaction.
And my son doesn’t want to even comtemplate his mother knowing/writing about sex. lol. He’s much more comfortable thinking the stork dropped him off in the backyard. *g* so its more that, than thinking what I write is porn.
I think your mom is sort of having the same reaction. She’s obvously proud to bursting of you, but maybe isn’t quite settled to the idea that her *baby* knows/writes about such-n-such acts. lol.
Dennie ~
November 3rd, 2009 at 10:01 am
I believe you’re right.
My Mother-in-law had been forbidden to read me (by me) then she was going on a long flight and asked if it would be okay. I told her she could, but I would NOT discuss the book w/ her… LOL
She has done pretty well… now if I could just break her of telling me of the grammatical/editing errors she’s found. DOH! (though some is her not knowing the genre. She told me she had to look up a word the way I used as she’d never heard/seen it before that way–I was correct w/ usage
)
Suz
November 3rd, 2009 at 12:33 pm
But you write Romance not Erotica, now that’s porn in written form! I bet your mum won’t be reading any Erotica novels anytime soon
Although, maybe you’re right and it’s just because you’re her daughter. Which makes me wonder about the book I’m writing. I hesitate to even write one swear word in it, because I want my f&f to read it someday, and they are all very religious.
cece
November 3rd, 2009 at 1:06 pm
Charlene…my dad has read every book I have in print (except maybe Built which is fine with me LOL). He’s always very nice and complimentary–I mean what is he gonna do? I’m his daughter — anyway, they were warned when my first book went on sale in regards to sex/heat level and I think they know I just wouldn’t put up with any crap. From my brother yes, because I know where it’s coming from but general tom-fuckery will get your ass reamed LOL
Dennie ~
November 3rd, 2009 at 1:30 pm
It’s a fine line to walk regardless of what you write I think. I remember the first novel (the one w/ the closed door scene), I worried what the hubby’s granddad would say…There were no swear words whatsoever in it–and on a personal level, that alone was hard LOL. I will say however, I got over that. I just write it. If a character swears they swear …
Dennie ~
November 3rd, 2009 at 1:32 pm
lol… the dh took the most heat (from work) when my first book came out… with a warning label.
My mom is weird though (I had to get it from somewhere) she likes to read the first draft and the final copy to see how much gets changed…
Dennie ~
November 3rd, 2009 at 1:37 pm
It is shocking to non-romance readers.
Every now and again I am shocked–I picked up a book the other day that head sex in the prologue (then again in chapter two)–hadn’t been expecting that. (It was an HQN paranormal)
Tanya
November 4th, 2009 at 11:16 pm
I don’t know what anyone would think of my stuff, and to be honest, once it’s published, I don’t think I’ll care. LOL They’ll just have to get over it.