Southern Fried Chicas

I’m a big fan of the paranormal.  Honestly.  I think I’ve had a love affair with it since I read my first haunted house book, saw my first B-movie, found myself mesmerized by Rod Serling’s staccato intros to strange worlds within our world.

But I must confess—some of the shapeshifter stuff?  I just don’t get it.

My fault, I’m sure, since I’ve only read the ones I thought would appeal to me.  And this is not to cast aspersions on those who DO write these stories.  If you can do it and make it work, you kick ass.  More power.

Vampires, ultimate creatures of the night, are SEXY.  Besides being able to change their forms, the neck-piercing, drinking blood stuff simulating the sexual act is HAWT.
Werewolves are SEXY.  Wolves are the dark hunters, the archetypal fierce alphas.
I can easily include a few more creatures.  The big cats are sleek, deadly, and SEXY.  I might extend the courtesy to any one of our big, powerful predators.

But I’m afraid I’ve seen some blurbs for books that just make me think, “oh no, no, no…no.”  (And again, I’ll confess I haven’t READ these books, which may actually be awesome).

WERESNAKE:  Um…no.  I think snakes are fascinating, and some downright beautiful, but I don’t want the guy I’m sexing slithering into/out of bed with me.  Or searching the back yard for small rodents.

DRAGONS:  I think I understand the fairy-tale appeal of dragons, but why and how did they start becoming sexy guys?  Handy at a barbecue, perhaps, but…

ZOMBIES:  I think I was out sick the day they explained this to the class.  As far as my knowledge of zombies goes, they’re either mindless dead bodies who do someone else’s bidding, or mindless dead bodies who eat living people’s flesh.  Either way, I’d be afraid to fall asleep after the sex, y’know?

And weredoes—I mean, where does it stop for our shapeshifter heroes?  I know this is often a bandwagon business, but…

Werestallions?

Weresnails?

Weresloths?

Werechihuahuas?

Were-does-it-end?