Southern Fried Chicas

I love writers with an ear for dialogue.  I especially love the combination of great dialogue and a compelling screenplay.  I can’t tell you how many times I’ve heard a humorous or distinctive line and walked away from the movie wishing I’d written it.  Add in a talented actor who knows his/her character, and we’re talking magic.  So let’s have some fun.  See how many of the following 30 memorable film quotes you can name.   

Think you can identify at least ten?  Try not to look at anybody’s answers until you’ve posted yours.  And if you have a favorite bit of dialogue from a movie (or a book) that you’d like to share, please do.  Maybe somebody here can guess it.

NO GOOGLING!   NO CHEATING!  

(BTW, some of these quotes are VERY racy.  Foul language abounds down there.  So you’ve been warned.)

UPDATE:  Get a piece of paper and a pen out first to write your answers down as you read.  It’ll be easier than scrolling up and down each time.

Okay, ready to play?

Enjoy!   

1. “Your mother sucks cocks in Hell.”

2. “Rosebud.”

3. “You don’t understand.  I coulda had class.  I coulda been a contender.  I coulda been somebody, instead of a bum, which is what I am, let’s face it.  I was you, Charley.”

4. “Lawzy, we got to have a doctor.  I don’t know nothin’ ’bout birthin’ babies.”

5. “Well, I believe in the soul, the cock, the pussy, the small of a woman’s back, the hanging curve ball, high fiber, good scotch, that the novels of Susan Sontag are self-indulgent, overrated crap. I believe Lee Harvey Oswald acted alone. I believe there ought to be a constitutional amendment outlawing Astroturf and the designated hitter. I believe in the sweet spot, soft-core pornography, opening your presents Christmas morning rather than Christmas Eve and I believe in long, slow, deep, soft, wet kisses that last three days.”

6. “You’re gonna need a bigger boat.”

7. “Just a flesh wound!”

8. “Now we’ll talk all day if you want to. But, come sundown, there’s gonna be two things true that ain’t true now. One is that the United States Department of Justice is goin’ to know what in the good Christ—e’scuse me, Angie—is goin’ on around here. And the other is, I’m gonna have somebody’s ass in my briefcase.”

9. “Hey, don’t knock masturbation. It’s sex with someone I love.”

10. “A census taker once tried to test me.  I ate his liver with some fava beans and a nice chianti.”

11. “Gary is the kind of man that understands, when you put another man’s cock in your mouth, you make a pact.”

12. “I know what you’re thinking. ‘Did he fire six shots or only five?’ Well, to tell you the truth, in all this excitement I kind of lost track myself. But being as this is a .44 Magnum, the most powerful handgun in the world, and would blow your head clean off, you’ve got to ask yourself a question: ‘Do I feel lucky?’ Well, do ya, punk?”

13. “It’s people!”

14. “Wendy, let me explain something to you. Whenever you come in here and interrupt me, you’re breaking my concentration. You’re distracting me. And it will then take me time to get back to where I was. You understand?  Now, we’re going to make a new rule. When you come in here and you hear me typing or whether you don’t hear me typing, or whatever the fuck you hear me doing; when I’m in here, it means that I am working, that means don’t come in. Now, do you think you can handle that?”

15. “You have to make the clitoris your best friend.”

16. “Armed robbery, arson, sexual assault with a concrete dildo…what the hell’s gotten into you, Frank?”

17. “Some people never go crazy. What truly horrible lives they must lead.”

18. “I have no armor left. You’ve stripped it from me. Whatever is left of me – whatever is left of me – whatever I am – I’m yours.”

19.   “What can you say about a twenty-five-year-old girl who died? That she was beautiful and brilliant? That she loved Mozart and Bach, the Beatles, and me?”

20.  “All right, here we are. There’s only one bathroom on this floor, so you’re going to have to share it. We got a bit of an insect problem, but you boys from Africa are used to that. And another thing, don’t use the elevator. It’s a death trap. This is the place I was telling you about. It’s real fucked up. Got just one window facing a brick wall. Used to rent it to a blind man… damn shame what they did to that dog.”

21. “Who said that? Who the fuck said that? Who’s the slimy little communist shit, twinkle-toed cocksucker down here who just signed his own death warrant? Nobody, huh? The fairy fucking godmother said it. Out-fucking-standing! I will PT you all until you fucking die! I’ll PT you until your assholes are sucking buttermilk!”

22. “Round up the usual suspects.”

23.  “I’ll suck your cock for a thousand dollars.”

24.   “You must know… surely, you must know it was all for you. You are too generous to trifle with me. I believe you spoke with my aunt last night, and it has taught me to hope as I’d scarcely allowed myself before. If your feelings are still what they were last April, tell me so at once. My affections and wishes have not changed, but one word from you will silence me forever. If, however, your feelings have changed, I will have to tell you: you have bewitched me, body and soul, and I love, I love, I love you and never wish to be parted from you from this day on.”

25.  “I will take you places you’ve never been. I will show you things that you have never seen and I will see the life run out of you.”

26.  “Tell me something, my friend. You ever dance with the devil in the pale moonlight?”

27.   “It’s called principle, Oscar. Maybe the world is in short supply, but I am NOT. See, people pay their tax dollars for MY PRINCIPLE so they can go into a restaurant and not eat chicken-fried RAT, or bite into a bacon, lettuce and tomaine sandwich. If I slack up on you then I have to cut EVERYONE a break. And pretty soon, the almonds on your salad have LEGS. If that makes me UNCOMPROMISING, then I wear it as a badge of honor cuz I’m in DAMN GOOD COMPANY! Martin Luther King was uncompromising, Nelson Mandela was uncompromising, and I’m sure your MOTHER was uncompromising, although the evidence of that is not apparent today. So… why don’t you think of me as your Mom right now. And Momma says, ‘CLEAN IT UP!’”

28.  “Sometimes I have the strangest feeling about you. Especially when you are near me as you are now. It feels as though I had a string tied here under my left rib where my heart is, tightly knotted to you in a similar fashion. And when you go to Ireland, with all that distance between us, I am afraid that this cord will be snapped, and I shall bleed inwardly.”

29.  “People should not be afraid of their governments. Governments should be afraid of their people.”

30.  “Now you’re thinking just now, “Why me, O God?”  The answer is, God has nothing to do with it.   In fact, God is never in France this time of year.”