Southern Fried Chicas

In light of the Wall Street Journal’s announcement that Mattel is planning major renovations for its Barbie line (which pulled in 1.2 billion in 2008, in case you’re sneering,), I’ve come up with an idea.

For the author who has everything (and as an example of how to blow time when you’re not writing), I propose a brand new line of products.

WRITERS’ BARBIE DOLLS.
(yes, I have a thing about picking on Barbie, but that kind of ‘perfection’ invites it, lol).

A line of dolls to reflect the true spirt of the author—the hard work, the isolation, the joy, the despair of the publishing business.  Let this special line of Barbies reflect your emotions, your frustrations, your semi-psychotic state of mind.

A few suggestions for the line of Writers’ Barbie Dolls?

For those desperate writers who are sure they’ve just mailed off the worst manuscript EVAH to their dream editor/agent, we might offer “DRY HEAVE BARBIE”, complete with oh-so-perky pink fixtures (or a Feng Shui puke green, as appropriate).

For the “Where the hell did THIS plot come from?!” author, it’s “PARBOILED BARBIE”, for your favorite pantster:

For the “I don’t just write my books, I LIVE them” writer, the “BDSM BARBIE”:

Of course, the “WRITER’S BLOCK BARBIE”, for when you’ve really let yourself go, you’re living off expresso, and you’d sell your soul for a single decent paragraph:

For our action-heroine authors, the unaccountably satisfying “BARBIE GREETS THE BOOK REVIEWER”:

And finally, what may be our most popular doll… “BARBIE TRACKS DOWN THE COVERT COVER ARTIST”:

I say we set up a table at the next RWA conference.  Make a mint!!