Southern Fried Chicas

“Mannie Manly sucked the last of the snake’s venom out of his hand amidst the unrelenting hail of bullets and spat it into the nearby quicksand.  Retrieving his switchblade from his back pocket, he executed a tumbling somersault over the low-lying barbed wire and landed in the next foxhole.
‘Ha!’  He shouted taunts at his enemies as he proceeded to carve a bullet from his bleeding bicep.  ‘Eat spoiled spam and eggs, you guys!’
With a wrenching turn of his knife, he flicked the offending bullet away—just as he felt the cold kiss of a pistol at the back of his head.
Gosh darn it,’ he muttered, closing his eyes.  ‘I guess it’s Yahtzee for me, huh?’”

Doesn’t work, does it? (That is, unless you’re writing a comedy or parody, or Manly is a black-ops chaplain).

It doesn’t work because it’s not true to the character.

Let’s talk profanity.

Now, I’m not one who uses swear words on a regular basis.  There has to be a legitimate reason for me to utter something considered a “profanity”…like, if it’s a weekday, or something unusual like that.

And no, swearing doesn’t necessarily make anyone more “macho” or sexy.  And I don’t like listening to people who have to curse with every other word (unless they’re really colorful, then it’s a hoot).  And if you’re writing inspirational/YA/spiritual, or your character doesn’t believe in using such language, that’s fine.

Why state the obvious?

Because there are people who find the use of such expressions “offensive”.  Yes, they may be fine with the action, the violence, the graphic descriptions of sex and blood—but toss in an expletive, and they’re calling the book a day.

As writers, we have a staggering volume of words to choose from.  But there are times when having the character voice exactly the proper prose just doesn’t fly in the face of extreme passion, anxiety, or danger.  A well-chosen curse word in dialogue at such a time may not be NECESSARY, but definitely appropriate.

So…how the hell do you feel about it?  Do you use the damn things?  Abuse them?  Have a problem with the shit?  Or are there some you’ll use, but others that are forbidden?