And They All (Three) Lived Happily Ever After

And They All (Three) Lived Happily Ever After

I wrote this post a couple of weeks ago, and since then related discussions have popped up all over, most notable the comment threads of two reviews (m/m/m  and m/m/f) at Dear Author.

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Do you believe in the HEA in ménage romances?  On the Amazon romance forum, the question was asked: Why are threesomes considered romances? A lot of peeps who posted don’t believe that they are. I didn’t post, but it made me think. I accept ménage romances for what they are: Fantasy.

Even though I know that peep in real life can and do make open and/or polygamous relationships work. Yet, I can’t help thinking that it’s so much work, really to make a one on one relationship work, much less to have another partner permanently added to the mix. Human nature being what it is, all those (supposed) sexual hi-jinks also come with jealousy, feelings on inadequacy, competitiveness, inevitable comparisons, and a heightened awareness/need of always being ‘fair’, etc. 

Even when this point was made (which I agree with):

I would think, for such a relationship to work, it would have to be about all three of the individuals, about their feelings for one another — in the m/f/m, IMO, it would have to be about her feelings for the two men, the two men’s feeling for the woman, and the two men’s feeling for each other.

I still don’t totally believe in the 3some HEAs, because the majority of ménage books tend to put the focus on the sex, and particularly on the more boundary pushing elements of them. 

I think it really doesn’t fit into my parameters of the ideal romantic relationship (whatever that is). If I look too closely at it—the way the question made me do—I don’t buy it completely. And like someone complain, sometimes it seem like the third person gets thrown into the mix purely for the titillation factor. 

But if I step back, and I’m just going along with the flow of the story, sure, werewolves, vampires, ménages, bring it on.

What about you guys?