I wrote this postÂ a couple of weeks ago, and since then related discussions have popped up all over, most notable the comment threads of two reviews (m/m/m Â and m/m/f)Â at Dear Author.
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Do you believe in the HEA in mÃ©nage romances?Â On the Amazon romance forum, the question was asked: Why are threesomes considered romances? A lot of peeps who posted donâ€™t believe that they are.Â I didnâ€™t post, but it made me think. I accept mÃ©nage romances for what they are: Fantasy.
Even though I know that peep in real life can and do make open and/or polygamous relationships work. Yet, I canâ€™t help thinking that itâ€™s so much work, really to make a one on one relationship work, much less to have another partner permanently added to the mix. Human nature being what it is, all those (supposed) sexual hi-jinks also come with jealousy, feelings on inadequacy, competitiveness, inevitable comparisons, and a heightened awareness/need of always being â€˜fairâ€™, etc.Â
Even when this point was made (which I agree with):
I would think, for such a relationship to work, it would have to be about all three of the individuals, about their feelings for one another — in the m/f/m, IMO, it would have to be about her feelings for the two men, the two men’s feeling for the woman, and the two men’s feeling for each other.
I still donâ€™t totally believe in the 3some HEAs, because the majority of mÃ©nage books tend to put the focus on the sex, and particularly on the more boundary pushing elements of them.Â
I think it really doesnâ€™t fit into my parameters of the ideal romantic relationship (whatever that is). If I look too closely at itâ€”the way the question made me doâ€”I donâ€™t buy it completely. And like someone complain, sometimes it seem like the third person gets thrown into the mix purely for the titillation factor.Â
But if I step back, and Iâ€™m just going along with the flow of the story, sure, werewolves, vampires, mÃ©nages, bring it on.
What about you guys?