September 4, 2008
If You Could Write The Ending…..
Imagine you’re in a theater or reading a book. You’ve invested a large chunk of your time immersed in this fictional world. The plot, the characters … everything about the story has got you wound tighter than a corkscrew. You can’t wait to get to the end, but then once you do, the unspeakable happens…
You hate it. In fact, you have a particularly violent reaction. You scream foul. You breathe fire. You fantasize about doing bad things to the writer, director, whatever. I’ve had this experience before. In each case, it wasn’t that the writing was bad, (on the contrary, it was so good, the characters sprang to life). It’s just that I’m a romance writer. My idea of a satisfying ending doesn’t always jibe with the fiction I read or the movies I watch. That’s why I sometimes imagine my own endings, and you can bet they’re way different than the originals.
What novel or film ending do you wish you could rewrite and what specifically would you change?
Here are just a few of my rewrites. Spoilers abound … so you’ve been warned.
1. 300 — The Spartans would win, Leonidas would go back to his wife to help raise their son and the Persians would be fish food.
2. Casino Royale — Vesper would live, James would eventually forgive her for betraying him, then he’d ask her to marry him. After the wedding, he’d quit MI6 to become a sheep herder in New Zealand. Okay, just kidding. 
3. Pride and Prejudice — Why couldn’t Mr. Darcy and Elizabeth “get busy” at the end of the book? I see them tearing each other’s clothes off and having sheet-ripping, headboard-banging sex. The book scene would be about eight or nine pages long. The movie scene would last about fifteen minutes.
4. Eastern Promises — Nikoli (Viggo’s character) would carry on a secret love affair with Anna (Naomi Watt’s character) while he continues to infiltrate the mafia. The badguys would find out about her and the baby. Then they’d kidnap them. Viggo would track them down and then have a huge shootout with Anna managing to kill the BIG badguy right before he’s about to shoot Viggo. Then Viggo and Anna would get married and raise the baby in a beautiful cottage somewhere in Ireland.
5. Somewhere in Time — (Based on the book, Bid Time Return) Why couldn’t Richard go back to the past when he was thrown back to the present? Why couldn’t he and Elise have reconnected while they were still alive, instead of having to meet in heaven after Richard died of a broken heart?
6. West Side Story (and Romeo and Juliet too!)– Why couldn’t Tony (Romeo) have left Riff (Mercutio) and Bernardo (Tybalt) to their own devises and just escaped somewhere with Maria (Juliet)? Hell, maybe they could hop a plane (or boat) to Puerto Rico (France).
Hmmm.
Well, must confess that, with a few you mentioned there, I didn’t have a problem with the ending. It seemed to suit the circumstances/tones of the stories (but a couple of these I didn’t see anyway…).
The only one I can think of offhand was Pirates 3. I thought the way the romance between William and Elizabeth turned out was not only deflating, but illogical, according to the course it had taken through the three movies.
Offhand, I can’t think of a movie I’ve seen that I’d change the ending. Not to say there isn’t one, but it’s early. Lemme think.
On Casino Royale…it was sad but I think it worked and the next Bond movie appears to be a direct follow-up with some retribution thrown in for good measure. I can’t wait!
Well, while had no problems with the ones you’ve mentioned, I do like your re-writes for Eastern Promises, P&P, and WSS. :-P
The ending for ANGEL (tv series) sucked. imo. Not sure how I would have ended it, but certainly not that way. Wesley would not have died, for starters.
When I read Bernard Malamud’s novel ‘The Natural’, I wanted to have a book burning. He ended the damn thing with the main character striking out… oh barf… Robert Redford rewrote the ending for the movie of the same name, and turned it into an HEA beauty.
romance between William and Elizabeth turned out was not only deflating
did you see the end of the credits though … w/ the kid?
for me, hmm…. The first thing that popped into my mind was Thelma and Louise. I don’t know how I would end it. But I am not for the tragic yet fitting ending… call me a wuss…
Orlando Bloom is hot, but even I can’t see waiting 10 years to get some nookie. But that’s the romance novelist in me.
All the other movies that had sucky endings have been wiped from my memory. Otherwise….
Orlando Bloom is hot, but even I can’t see waiting 10 years to get some nookie.
Hello…
I have to vote for Angel too even though I did think in some small sad way it was rather fitting *sigh*
Well, must confess that, with a few you mentioned there, I didn’t have a problem with the ending. It seemed to suit the circumstances/tones of the stories (but a couple of these I didn’t see anyway…).
Remember I said I’m looking at this from a pure romance-writer perspective. For instance, take Casino Royale. The ending was stellar for its genre which is action/adventure/thriller. However, if I could rewrite it with a romance HEA in mind, Vesper would still be alive and they’d go off into the sunset together. The series would be dead as a result, but so what? LOL
The only one I can think of offhand was Pirates 3. I thought the way the romance between William and Elizabeth turned out was not only deflating, but illogical, according to the course it had taken through the three movies.
I agree. I hated that too. In fact, I would’ve rewritten the entire sequel. Too much plot. Too many characters. Too many conflicts to keep up with. I had a headache when I left the theater. And as far as the Orlando Bloom romance thing, it didn’t make sense. If he’s supposed to only be able to come back every ten or so years, the next time Elizabeth sees him she’ll be ten years older, while he will not have aged. Then he leaves again and comes back in another 10 years, and BAM, girlfriend is in her 40s. So in essence, they really have 5 more visits before she kicks the bucket.
On Casino Royale…it was sad but I think it worked and the next Bond movie appears to be a direct follow-up with some retribution thrown in for good measure. I can’t wait!
See my response to Raine. The ending was great for its genre. In fact if they’d've applied my ending to it, there wouldn’t be room for a sequel, much less a series. I was just looking at it from a wishful thinking pie in the sky perspective. You know, pure romance.
Well, while had no problems with the ones you’ve mentioned
Oh, come on. Haven’t you wished at least ONCE that Maria and Tony and Romeo and Juliet were able to have a HEA? There’s not a moment when Tony leaves Maria that last time, that I don’t wish he’d stay and run away with her. The poor kids never had a chance. Sigh…
I do like your re-writes for Eastern Promises, P&P, and WSS. :-P
I really wish they would’ve developed the sexual tension more between them, because it was there. That first/last kiss they shared was so bittersweet, you know, an ‘if only,’ type of thing.
The ending for ANGEL (tv series) sucked. imo. Not sure how I would have ended it, but certainly not that way. Wesley would not have died, for starters.
I’ve never watched Angel consistently or Buffy for that matter, however, I’d always hoped Angel and Buffy would somehow get together. Did they in the end? Or was there some other woman he was attached to during his series?
He ended the damn thing with the main character striking out… oh barf… Robert Redford rewrote the ending for the movie of the same name, and turned it into an HEA beauty.
Did the author even bother setting up the possibility for a strike-out within the preceding chapters of the book? Or did it just come out of nowhere? Sounds really anticlimactic to me. What happened after the strike-out? What did the character do?
did you see the end of the credits though … w/ the kid?
Yeah, that pissed me off even more. So he basically missed the first ten yrs of his child’s life. WTF is that?
for me, hmm…. The first thing that popped into my mind was Thelma and Louise. I don’t know how I would end it. But I am not for the tragic yet fitting ending… call me a wuss…
That was the dumbest ending I’ve ever seen. They didn’t have to kill themselves. I remember thinking how stupid it was in that the writer was trying to go for a tragic ending. It seemed forced to me.
Then again, my husband thought it was perfect. He said they didn’t want to get caught, would probably face the death penalty anyway, or worse, life in prison, so the only logical solution was to go out on their own terms.
Whatever….
I have to vote for Angel too even though I did think in some small sad way it was rather fitting *sigh*
Okay, now I’m really going to have to rent the damned series!
Then he leaves again and comes back in another 10 years, and BAM, girlfriend is in her 40s. So in essence, they really have 5 more visits before she kicks the bucket.
Yes! (that’s if she lived that long, which women didn’t often do during that time).
Not to mention that the kid gets to see his father–what? One time before he’s full-grown?
And why Will? Captain Jack was the one who loved the sea so much, who loved sailing toward that horizon.
They should’ve stopped with the first movie and that lovely, romantic kiss.
Yes! (that’s if she lived that long, which women didn’t often do during that time). Not to mention that the kid gets to see his father–what? One time before he’s full-grown?
Exactly. So she was about 35 during that first 10-yrs later visit that we saw with the kid. That also means he was still 25. Next time he returns, she’ll be 45 and he’ll still look 25. Not only that, but his kid will basically only be five years younger (at 20) than he’ll be. They screwed up. Big time.
And why Will? Captain Jack was the one who loved the sea so much, who loved sailing toward that horizon.
That made NO sense to me either. I kinda fancy the idea that Jack Sparrow would be immortal and would show up every now and then to toss excitement into the mix.
They should’ve stopped with the first movie and that lovely, romantic kiss.
I couldn’t agree more.
Orlando Bloom is hot, but even I can’t see waiting 10 years to get some nookie. But that’s the romance novelist in me.
Tell me about it! And they didn’t even have vibrators back then.
Totally with you on “Eastern Promises.” I LOVED that movie. For “Casino Royale” I’d keep Vesper dead. A despondent James would travel through southern California, meet a 40 something housewife, sweep her off her feet and then become a sheep farmer in N.Z.
Mine’s a little off the wall. I’d change the ending to “The Ring.” It was such a scary movie, had me on the edge of my seat until the end and it deflated into a typical horror movie. Not sure how I’d change it, but I’d try to keep with the original scarfest.
Totally with you on “Eastern Promises.”
I’m hoping for a sequel. If they have one, I’m sure Nikoli and Anna will find their way back to each other. God, I LOVED his character. Viggo did an outstanding job. Didn’t he receive an Academy Award nomination for that role?
For “Casino Royale” I’d keep Vesper dead. A despondent James would travel through southern California, meet a 40 something housewife, sweep her off her feet and then become a sheep farmer in N.Z.
Girl, you’re worse than me! That 40-something housewife wouldn’t happen to have an “R” as the first letter in her first name would she?
Mine’s a little off the wall. I’d change the ending to “The Ring.” It was such a scary movie, had me on the edge of my seat until the end and it deflated into a typical horror movie. Not sure how I’d change it, but I’d try to keep with the original scarfest.
I didn’t like when the girl climbed through the TV and killed the hero. I liked the whole climbing through the TV thing, I just didn’t think he should’ve died. Then again, am I getting The Ring mixed up with The Ring 2?
The Ring had no kind of happy ending. I STILL Can’t watch it. It’s the one movie (besides CHildren of the COrn) that completely freaked me out.
Tanya you totally need to rent Angel. Just don’t watch too much back to back or all that angst will get to you
Tanya you totally need to rent Angel. Just don’t watch too much back to back or all that angst will get to you
Honey, I LUV angst! LOL I’ll definitely watch now.
Tanya… that was the end of the book, with the strikeout. It was horrible. There was no closure on any subplot in the book. When Redford ended the movie the way he did, it was the perfect ending with extras, because he closed the other threads Malamud dumped at the end of his book. Next to ‘Cujo’, where Stephen King killed the kid at the end, and the movie revived him, ‘The Natural’ was the best movie follow up rewrite ending in my memory. :)
Next to ‘Cujo’, where Stephen King killed the kid at the end, and the movie revived him, ‘The Natural’ was the best movie follow up rewrite ending in my memory. :)
I don’t blame you. Definitely sounds like a wallbanger book. As for King, I don’t read him anymore. His maniacal fascination with killing children doesn’t sit well with me.
I agree on Children of the Corn. It’s one of few movies I could only watch once. (With Pulp Fiction and Seven joining that club.) Like Stephen King, I don’t think Dean Koontz movies live up to the written counterparts. But mostly, the romantic in me would re-write the ending of the Bodyguard (Whitney Houston and Kevin Costner). I thought they’d both earned their togetherness.
Stefanie I watched COTC when I was like twelve and STILL won’t watch it again LOL
And I agree on The Bodyguard–even though, again, it’s been years!
But mostly, the romantic in me would re-write the ending of the Bodyguard (Whitney Houston and Kevin Costner). I thought they’d both earned their togetherness.
THAT is a good one. I’d completely forgotten about it. Heck yeah, I’d rewrite that sucker. I still don’t understand why they chose that ending. It made NO sense to me. It was obvious that they were in love and needed each other. Grrrr…
I watched COTC when I was like twelve and STILL won’t watch it again
Amazingly, I have never seen this movie, or the hundred or so sequels they’ve done. Was it really THAT bad?