August 29, 2008
Real Men…??
This will be a short, simple post.
I’m basically just asking for an opinion—however long or short you wish to make it—on a subject that came up in my own writing, but might prove valuable to other authors or readers.
In other words…input, please? 
At one point in my latest manuscript, my hero suffered a devastating loss, something he felt personally responsible for.
I toyed with the idea of doing something with the character, and just couldn’t make up my mind.
The question?
Do you have a problem with heroes who cry?
Whether they’re Alpha, Beta, Gamma, whether it’s a misting of the eyes or flinging the forearm across the face weeping—how do you feel about it?
Absolutely not. No problem.
Do you have a problem with heroes who cry?
I, uh, hmm…. a little. I guess it depends on time, place, situation and duration….. during 9/11 when Peter Jennings teared up, that got to me.
Jim Baker crying after getting caught cheating and “sinning” turned my stomach.
I do have a problem with it. Over the last couple of decades, the public criers have put my barf reflex into overdrive. Like I told my kids growing up, never cry in front of your enemies. Bite your lip, and wait till you’re in the company of people who care about you. If you can write your hero up with a tasteful private moment, I have no problem with it. If the hero/heroine turns on the waterworks in public, he or she has become a politician.
In general I don’t have a problem. If he cries in each chapter then yes, but then I feel the same way about heroines who cry like that.
Absolutely not. No problem.
Thanks, Bernita!
Dennie, I agree about the situation being important.
I keep thinking back on things…I remember seeing tapes of Cronkite announcing Kennedy’s assassination. That steady, deep, iconic voice of his…quavered. It was devastating.
On the opposite end, I remember Robert Wagner at the funeral of his wife,Natalie Wood. He cried like a baby.
I would say yes to the ‘private moment’ idea, Bernard, definitely.
But maybe the reaction hits very hard and fast?
If he cries in each chapter then yes, but then I feel the same way about heroines who cry like that.
Ditto.
Ditto’n ur dito
I’m not big on men crying. A misting of the eyes or a brief mention wouldn’t bother me if it’s a highly emotional situation, but I don’t like to see men cry a lot.
Ditto’n ur dito
A misting of the eyes or a brief mention wouldn’t bother me if it’s a highly emotional situation
Interesting to see that the vote is leaning toward noooo………
Don’t we like our heroes to show their sensitive sides?
(Thanks much for the opinion, Ashley!).
I think sensitive and cry baby are two different things… I think there is something to be said for him stoicly sucking it up. Seems to make the man stronger AND more sensitive … IMHO.
Also as a romance writer, I think the sensitive side comes across in the love making and emotional intimacy and the way he relinquishes control of his, well, his control (damn there goes all that thinking again…
)
Back to crying… I grew up being taught crying was a form of manipulation and/or a sign of weakness–from anyone, not just a man. I can remember my father crying exactly twice when I was a child and my mother maybe three times. Of course that could explain some of my warpedness
Sorry about the thinking, Dennie.
And no, I don’t think any of us are into the ‘cry baby’ idea, lol.
Nope. Time and place, etc. If he’s turning on the waterworks several times in the book, then yeah, it’d bug me. But if you have him reacting in this single instance and it’s underlining his profound losss/pain, then go for it. Readers will see that and not feel manipulated or that the big bad Alpha hero is a wuss.
Nope, I don’t mind. I would however add that context is very important. Also, if it did hit hard and fast, his first reaction would probably be to find a private place where he’d feel safe.
But if you have him reacting in this single instance and it’s underlining his profound losss/pain, then go for it.
I’m kind of leaning that way, Jaq. Thanks.
I would however add that context is very important.
Everyone seems to agree on that point, Ann.
Thanks for the opinion!