August 21, 2008
When The Birdies Leave The Nest
My daughter went away for an internship program. She’s been going to community college and staying home, but she flew to Florida (HURRICANE CAPITAL OF THE EARTH!!!!) on August 10th, and I’ve been a nutcase ever since. Writing? What’s that? My muse is just as wrecked as I am. 
At least when I went away to college, it was an hour and a half drive from home. Now she’s two hours away—–BY PLANE. 
I can’t stop worrying. I can’t stop thinking. I can’t stop obsessing. Somebody please put me out of my misery!
Not only is she the first to leave the nest (if only temporarily since she’ll be back in 4 months) but it’s also the first time she’s gone away. I’m having serious coping issues. Look, I know every parent has to go through this eventually, but it feels like it just snuck up on me. I have two other kids at home, which helps, but I’m still dangerously close to going batsh*t crazy.
The day before she left (Aug 9th) I had insomnia, so I stayed up all night, then I called my mother at six in the morning blubbering and whining. 
Believe it or not, she laughed. Of course she said ‘this too shall pass,’ but it doesn’t feel that way at all. It seems like this … um … empty, gnawing feeling will NEVER go away.
I have to RESTRAIN myself from calling my daughter every day. And believe me, it’s hard. I worry that she’s not eating right. I worry about the people she’s hanging around. Even though she’s staying in a gated/secured complex with other kids her age (5 other girls share her suite), I’m still worried about her safety. The building is coed and there are boys in the room across from hers. Thankfully, most of them are gay.
(Yeah, I said it!)
Look, I know I sound like a wackjob, but I can’t help the way I feel. 
What’s got my stomach in even more knots is that I’ll have to go through this empty nest thing at least three more times. My youngest is only eleven, but I’m already having nightmares about him tramping off to Europe for a year with some nasty skank he’ll meet one drunken night (having unprotected sex, of course) during his senior trip to Cancun….
Any advice? I’m all ears! 
LOL! Think of it this way, Tanya, you don’t want her living with you when she’s thirty, and they have to practice being on their own away from the nest some time. :)
LOL Bernard has the right of it. My brother was 28 when he FINALLY got his own place–yet he’s at our mom’s at least once a week.
My oldest two are in jr high this year and #2 getting his football gear/pads yesterday was bad enough. I can’t think quite to college yet (or I’d give you a run for the padded room!)
>>‘this too shall pass,’
My mom used to say this. It made me want to slap her every time!
((((((((((Tanya)))))))))))) I feel for you. I can’t immagine. Mine’s going to HS this year and I’m totally freaked–class of 2012″?
Then 2014 
JEEZ It makes me wanna cry!
{{{Tanya}}}.
It’s a rough experience. I’ve only had an adopted daughter take flight, but we were very close and yes it’s hard.
All I can tell you is it’s a great learning experience for her, and try to remember that’s important.
You? Keep busy. Remember how well you raised her.
And keep busy.
Bernard,
I know you’re right, but I just wasn’t ready. Then again, I’m not too sure when the right time for this would be. Thirty doesn’t sound too bad at all.
OMG, Dennie! My son has been talking about playing football all summer. I told him no. Of course his father thinks I’ve lost what’s left of my mind and that I’m being over-protective. It doesn’t help that I’m a rabid fan of Friday Night Lights and the star quarterback broke his neck during a game and got paralyzed from the neck down.
Even if I am being overprotective, so what? He doesn’t have to play football. Tennis sounds absolutely divine.
I can’t even think about those dates, Cece. Makes me feel ancient. Class of 2015? SACRILEGE!
Believe me, Raine, I am really TRYING to keep busy. That old saying, “The idle mind is a playground for the devil” is too damned true.
Right now, my kids are so obnoxious I’ve been looking for a boarding school in Switerzland that will take 8 & 5 year olds.
My mom cried when I went away to college. Mostly because of the state of my room when I left. I was 18 and her only. I stayed in state but it was still about 400 miles from home. By the time Christmas break rolled around, she was happy enough to have me gone.
I don’t remember my mom being even slightly disturbed about me leaving for college, Rene. As I recall, the woman was absolutely giddy about it.
No wonder she laughed at me when I called her.
Mine went off to school for the first time today. I’m a little worried about him, but he was seriously ready - and driving me crazy in his quest to prove it!
Colleen, my son’s bus driver must have thought I was a nutjob. I followed the bus halfway to the school in my car that first day. It was raining like nothing I’d ever seen and I was worried sick. So I followed the bus until the embarrassment over what I was doing finally kicked in.
LOL, Tanya. You poor thing. Hang in there!
Tanya, I remember my mom being worried when I first went off to college. That was the first week of September.
By the time I came home for Thanksgiving, she had to FIND the time to pick me up for school, had plans to out out that weekend, and had moved her clothes into my closet at home.
You’ll be ok!
Thanks, Colleen. I spoke to her yesterday and she was complaining about all of the rain they’re getting because of the tropical storm. I said, “You miss us, don’t you?” She said, “Yeah, sorta.”
Raine, my mom turned my room into an exercise gym, complete with weights, a bike and a treadmill.
Not too subtle, is she?
I’m being over-protective
This same child played baseball a few years ago and got smacked w/ the ball almost EVERY at bat (no kidding) and has a MAJOR aversion to it now. Give him a hard hit or two in football and I bet he’s “c” team for not trying hard enough!
My oldest was in tennis last year . . . hated the coach got in HUGE trouble and now has her for Health class. There is pain in Tennis too–but more emotional . . . LOL
Now see, I was actually considering baseball for the kid, but I think I may have to reconsider. lol
Perhaps he could join the chess club.