August 15, 2008
What’s the Attraction?
No one can really explain the laws of attraction. Oh, we make feeble attempts to do so. Like attracts like, opposites attract, whatever can hurt you the most is what you’re sure to want most, etc.
And if the reason for the attraction isn’t obvious, we’ll just make something up. Often if we see a couple that seems ill-matched…
“He’s paying for it.” 
“She has a father complex.” 
“He’s paying for it.”
“She must have a great technique.” 
“He’s paying for it.”
But if I’m reading your story, I want to know what the attraction is between your H/h (and I don’t mean just the purely physical).
Seriously. If you can’t convince me that these people could really be attracted to each other, I’m less likely to believe in them—or to care what happens to them.
Here’s an example from a romance I recently read that made me take a look at my own characters-in-progress.
HEROINE’S ATTRIBUTES: She’s an attractive, proud, strong-willed redhead who is very devoted to her family.
HERO’S ATTRIBUTES: He’s attractive and a very open person. Startling eyes. Single. Multi-millionaire who has (somehow) managed to remain unspoiled. Open-minded, even-tempered, finds joy in helping those who are less fortunate.
HEROINE’S LIABILITIES: She’s a cop. Has a precocious kid. Lives with semi-invalid mother. Very poor finances. Emotionally shaky. Job troubles.
HERO’S LIABILITIES: His attentions tend to interfere with her job performance.
No relationship is going to be perfectly balanced, of course. But I spent a good part of this book wondering “why is he chasing after this woman?”
Even more puzzling was the first-person pov YA novel I just finished. The heroine, self-described as awkward, subject to fainting, coltish, accident-prone and constantly in need of rescuing, spends 85% of the book wondering why the paranormal hero, perfect and godlike in every way, is interested in her at all (the only answers came via his dialogue, when he mentioned that she was attractive, smelled good, and he couldn’t read her mind).
She was sympathetic enough, but I must confess…I spent 85% of the book wondering the same thing. 
Is it his gruffness? Her innocence? His inner strength? Her independence? Or maybe the fact that the feeling doesn’t seem mutual? If I’m wasting time wondering what the attraction is, I’m not enjoying the story. I’m just frustrated. Throw your reader a bone or two, and put some meat on it.
Out of all the possible couples combinations on the planet, your hero and heroine have chosen each other. I don’t think anyone expects an in-depth analysis, but it’ll definitely help your cause if you can give your readers some insight into the mystery of why they’re attracted to each other (even if the characters themselves are confused about it).
An excellent question!
~thinking, thinking~
All solid points, Raine, and it made me think back to an unrelated comedic episode on a vacation when my kids were under ten. We were all in a spa, when a guy in his forties arrived with a young woman around twenty. He had wine glasses and wine, all happy and eager. We made room for the two of them and my daughter asks, ‘oh, is this your daughter?’ Watching the poor guy’s face was like watching something inflatable with a slow leak. A love story can be killed in so many ways. :)
I like to think attraction can be shown in two ways. *and no, it won’t be easy*
1. What values do they share?
I know you can’t be just alike with the person you are attracted to, but you have to see eye to eye on certain things. Are they loyal to their friend’s and family? Deep down what are their code of ethics. They don’t have to be ‘normal’ people’s ethics, they just need some. For me that’s one of the hardest things to show, but if you can then you have an advantage for your characters’ romance.
2. Give the characters’ what they need, not what they want in the opposite sex.
This definitely plays off opposites attract in a way. If she’s head-strong it might work for her to fall in love with a guy who seems mellow. But of course you’d have to circle back to number 1 and make them go toe-to-toe on an issue and show that man has backbone.
But, yeah, I’ve read plenty of books where I get to the ending and do no believe in the HEA. Worse, I’m thinking the author could have made the relationship work if she/he went the extra mile to convince me.
~thinking, thinking~
Bernita, when this occurred to me, I had to do much the same with the characters I’m currently working on, and try to make certain adjustments.
Bernard, lol!
Oh, the poor guy.
And it’s certainly not impossible to believe a younger man/woman could fall for an older man/woman.
But even if the reason is simply that he/she makes the other feel younger, or whatever–might be wise to give the reader a hint.
Not believing in the attraction is a definite deterrent to enjoying the romance.
Mel, good points.
I think a HUGE part of real relationships is that something about that other person answers some need. But if I, the reader, don’t get what that might be…
And we can be so cynical about it, but that comes with not “getting it”, doesn’t it?
Must confess–I remember “How Stella Got Her Groove Back”, and how lotsa older women sighed. But lots of others lifted an eyebrow in disbelief…and felt vindicated when the truth about the ‘younger man’ came out in real life.
They didn’t BELIEVE in it.
>>HERO’S LIABILITIES: His attentions tend to interfere with her job performance.
Stupid *shakes head*
PS “Because’ … not a good reason.
I’m having this issue with John and Tish so i can totally relate.
Amie, “Because” is just as good as “You smell good”—predator or not!
Having the same issue with a certain female fallen angel of mine. After all, why would she settle for a singularly unremarkable human?
And some stories I’ve skimmed in the romance section…oh, my. There’s the gruff hero on page 20, knuckles scraping the floor as he walks, irritated with the pest of a heroine. And there he is on page 30, telling her exactly why she doesn’t appeal to him, from her obnoxious ways to her tiny cup size.
And there she is on page 35, admitting to herself that her attraction to him is undeniable.
And there I am wondering WHY???
I think this question could be applied to more than half of the books I read, which is sad. Most writers don’t take that extra step. It’s all on a physical/sexual/sensual level. Which is why I like character-driven books so much. Usually with them, you can actually SEE the magic within both characters. The spiritual/emotional thing that draws them together is that obvious.
But with most of the books I read, I’m left scratching my head, totally clueless as to what these people see in each other besides clevage, buns, smell, muscles, thighs, eyes, hair … etc. Layering in that intangible stuff takes patience and skill. It’s not as easy as it looks.
Which is why I like character-driven books so much. Usually with them, you can actually SEE the magic within both characters.
And I think that’s very important, Tanya. Good point.
“knuckles scraping the floor as he walks, irritated with the pest of a heroine.”
::chortling::
Great post, BTW. I find that ‘why?’ question bugs me more, when I’m not enjoying (reading) the story and/or liking the characters. But if I am I kinda don’t care.
On the flip side, if the why is shown throughout the book, the chances of that book being a keeper increase exponentially.
In my own writing, I do try and show why they fall in love, though.
you always make me think too much… not that this is a bad thing… but w/ summer almost over I am giddy to the point of brain-weary . . . .
In my opinion, the lust factor starts the journey for the two (most of the time) then in the in-common factor KEEPS them together. If they have so little in common as to wonder why they are still on the same page, that’s a tough sell to a reader.
Not sure I have an answer, but I will sure be thinking of it when i write
Actually, I think I’ve read both of the books you’re using as an example. I don’t remember having a problem with the first book, wondering why the hero was attracted to the heroine, but I do recall wondering a bit about your second example (have you read book 2? it puts a different spin on things). I don’t have that problem with any of my books yet, but none of them are, strictly speaking, romances- so I can work around that (and give them all sorts of other problems).
>>Most writers don’t take that extra step.
And I do have to say here: I Wonder how much of that “Not taking the extra step” comes back to high-speed publication and release schedules!!?!?!
I find that ‘why?’ question bugs me more, when I’m not enjoying (reading) the story and/or liking the characters.
That may be true, Vanessa. Maybe I wasn’t involved enough, or was in an analytical frame of mind.
And Lord knows, I can’t stand having the H/h gazing off toward the horizon with endless pages of introspection about the matter! Can’t please some people…
In my own writing, I do try and show why they fall in love, though.
And managed very well.
you always make me think too much…
I’m sorry!
In my opinion, the lust factor starts the journey for the two (most of the time) then in the in-common factor KEEPS them together.
I thought of that too, Dennie, especially when it comes to hot/erotic romance. And it’s a formula that works very well (have used it too). It just seems that in certain cases I’m not latching on to what they have in common—or it doesn’t seem like enough.
Actually, I think I’ve read both of the books you’re using as an example.
I wouldn’t be surprised, Ann.
And no, I haven’t read book 2, and rather doubt that I will. It was an ok read, and I liked the worldbuilding, etc., but the heroine just didn’t work well enough for me to do a series.
…so I can work around that (and give them all sorts of other problems).
Smart you, lol.
And since you mentioned it…even shared PROBLEMS or ISSUES can be enough to enable an attraction. At least it’s something.
I Wonder how much of that “Not taking the extra step” comes back to high-speed publication and release schedules!!?!?!
I could definitely see that as a reason, Ames. Layering takes more thought and planning and time.
I can also see the length of the story being a factor. One can only fit so much into a novella or short novel, and I think readers take that into consideration (at least, I hope they do).