August 7, 2008
WARNING, LONG POST: My Rant Against Authors Who Keep Shoving The Same Sociopathic Clones Down My Throat
When I pick up a romance novel, I’m looking for an irresistible hero. One who’s gorgeous, intelligent, challenging and confident. If he’s gaga over the heroine by the tenth page, I’m bored. I like to WATCH a hero fall in love. On the flip side, I’m looking for a likable heroine, one I can identify with. A woman who isn’t so cold, standoffish or self-absorbed she can’t recognize a good thing when she sees it. Well lately, one of my favorite authors hasn’t been delivering. I’m tired of her clones … er … I mean, her characters. To be brutally frank, her cookie-cutter protagonists (mainly her heroines) make me want to slap the sh*t out of them.
Okay, here’s the thing. Her heroes always chase her heroines. It’s never a mutual thing. Nine times out of ten he’s the pursuer, deciding early on that he’s head over heels in lust/love. Meanwhile, she couldn’t care less. She’s often rude, emotionally distant and almost always commitment shy to the point of being downright hostile, not to mention nauseatingly self-absorbed. Don’t get me wrong, I completely understand the ‘not needing’ a man mindset, but it gets tiresome after twenty or so books. Especially when the heroine is militaristic about it. I’m all for independence, but these women take it to the extreme. I’m completely turned off by them.
On the other hand, her heroes are always totally in love or lust with the heroine from day one and they pursue these women like a drunk chases hooch. It’s the old, “I’m gonna make you love me” type of deal. YUK! What possible reason would I have to keep reading this garbage? Guys like this never interested me in real life, so why would I waste my time (and my money) on them now?
With this author, the MO is always the same. Over-the-top aggressive male and aloof female. I’m sick of these people. The women are always emotionally repressed and the men are borderline stalkers. I’d feel the same if the roles were reversed. I guess what I’m saying is, can’t this author write anything else?
Then again, she’s not the only one. There are other successful authors who continue to write the same people over and over again. Nothing changes except the book title. One author has an obsession with sexually repressed heroines, while another writes crybaby heroes. Yes, crybaby, as in they’re always bawling about something. 
I don’t mind men who cry, but when every man an author writes is shedding tears everywhere I have to say enough is enough. I know there are readers who enjoy characters like these, and don’t mind reading them again and again. But I’m not one of them.
Without naming names or titles, has a favorite author’s habitual characterizations ever made you wanna reach for a vomit bag? 
Also, which do you prefer in your romances? Man chases woman? (i.e. he cares more at first) Woman chases man? (i.e. she cares more at first) Both chase each other. (i.e. they both care the same) Or neither chases the other and circumstances bring them together? (they both can’t stand each other at first, but grow into love)
LOL . . . LOVE the smiley!
I guess what I like varies. But I think I like it most when the guy likes her and is mortified because he was set to be a bachelor and he has to come to grips with it not making him any less of a man to be “tied down”
(BUT I also want the head-over-heels can’t breath w/o the other kinda love)
damn that was WAY too much thinking on half a cup of coffee
>>“I’m gonna make you love me” type of deal. YUK!
one of my fave authors ALWAYS writes something different–there are similarities but it’s still different. Another fave author writes almost similiar storylines every time but it works for me and I love her so i forgive her (they’re also not straight romance which probably would make a difference).
As far as the “meet” I think I’m flexible but INSTA-LOVE (TM) doesn’t work for me and never has–not even in novellas which I write a lot of. I don’t believe it in real life and I won’t (usually) believe it in a book.
My, my, Tanya’s on a tear this morning, isn’t she?
Lol…
Nooo…basically ‘coz once I realize I’ve read the same people 2 or 3 times, they’re probably not a favorite anymore.
As far as chasing—I’m flexible. As long as the characters hold my interest and keep me reading, I don’t care who’s after who (but I do like circumstances bringing people together who normally probably wouldn’t be).
Dennie,
I don’t mind the HOH can’t breathe type of love either, just not by the tenth page.
I like to see protagonists struggle to breach that emotional hurdle. That’s why I read romance. To see the journey. But if it’s all mapped out within the first few pages, I usually don’t finish the book.
I loved this one author, but then I realized the hero’s were always Alpha and the heroine always thought he was a wuss and tried to protect him through out the whole story, but would always put them in a worse predicament OR she’d be a virgin and he’d ejeculate prematurley AND then she’d always not want to have sex with him anymore.
And that’s just her historicals.
Now her contemporary’s always had an Alpha and the heroine thought him to be a wuss….
I’d say the ones I still read today don’t follow that same set up. Also, for this same reason I’m worried about the books I write, especially the last two I’ve written. Gah, but I’ll burn that bridge when I get to it.
Cece,
BTW, I went to Barnes and Noble this weekend. I saw Nailed on one of the top shelves and faced it out for you. I just hope the other authors on the shelf don’t mind that your newly faced-out book kinda sorta covered theirs.
About the clones….. I can sometimes tolerate them, but I think I’m fed up with this particular author because I honestly can’t stand her heroines. They’re totally obnoxious … to me at least. Obviously I’m in the minority since she’s very successful. I know another favorite author who writes clones too, but hers aren’t half as annoying as this other one. I will continue to buy her because even though her characters are clones, they’re likable clones. But I’m totally done with this other author.
Raine,
Yeah, I’m on a tear all right. I just spent something like 30 bucks for this author’s audio book and I guess I just snapped.
She’s a fabulous writer. Hell, I wish I had her talent. I’m just sick of her clones. I think either she’s gotten lazy, or she’s got issues. I mean, if the same theme kept showing up in my books, I’d have to wonder, ya know?
Anyway, I agree with you on the bringing together two people who otherwise wouldn’t give each other the time of day romances. Those are the most satisfying for me. I’m a melodrama junkie, so these hold my interest the most.
Melissa,
I wouldn’t worry about your books. If you’d written twenty with the same clones, then I’d be concerned.
About the alpha wusses…. How could she possibly think an alpha male was a wuss? I’d love to see how the author pulled that off.
I mean, there’s a suspension of disbelief factor. And you say they all prematurely ejaculate? Oh, my…. You’ve got to wonder what is going on in the author’s head given this rather disturbing pattern….. 
Dennie said: “damn that was WAY too much thinking on half a cup of coffee”
Yeah, tell me about it.
When I started this post it was just two paragraphs. I guess I got a bit carried away.
I doubt it’s worth twenty books, but the obsessed guy chasing a disinterested woman is a theme I’ve seen in real life enough to make me gag when I find it in fiction. I guess it does make for good fiction, because the love affair never works out in reality. I don’t understand the fawning dolt, nor do I give a single moment of thought to a self absorbed, apathetic woman. I enjoy the instant mutual attraction, but takes a while to develop type romance. :)
I couldn’t agree more, Bernard!!
Those romances never work out in real life, which is why reading them in fiction makes me want to gag. I cannot possibly be attracted to a man who has so little self-respect that he degrades himself by chasing a woman who obviously could never love him more than she loves herself. I hate stalker/fawning dolt guys. Having a pathetic air of desperation isn’t a quality I admire in my heroes.
thanks for the chuckles today…
Sunny Lyn,
I agree about the CP/good friend. Anyone who’s critted with me knows I’m completely anal. (Ask Cece, she’ll tell you) If it doesn’t work for me, I don’t hold back. And I demand the same candor from those who read my work as well. I don’t like cheerleaders. They almost always get writers into trouble.
However, I’m far less willing to rip an author a new one in public, which is why I could never be a book reviewer. It’s also why I’ve taken the coward’s way out here by not naming names or titles. I couldn’t bring myself to do that to another writer.
>>faced it out for you.
Blows you kisses!
Tanya as a CP the one thing I appreciate is that you don’t allow me to be lazy!
You’re a sweetie, Cece. Of course, critting for you is easy. You write like a dream, lady.
LOL. How did i miss this rant? (oh, yeah, 24 hr flu bug).
Well….. it depends….
The stalker hero is a guilty pleasure of mine. If done right. And, no, I don’t want to read him in every book. Then again, I don’t want to read the same characters (any archetype) in every book. The tricky part is the reason many authors become favourites or comfort reads is because of that sameness.
I’ve learnt there are certain authors I just can’t read back to back because of this ::coughJAKcough:: And yet, if I’m feeling down or out of sorts, she’s inevitable one of the first authors that come to mind to reach for. And she always gives me the satisfaction I’m looking for.
One thing I will absolutely agree with, those recalcitrant heroines bug the ever lovin shit out of me also. It’s much easier for me to enjoy a book with an ass for the hero, but he heroine is likable, than a hero I’m mad about, the the heroine is unsympathetic.
It’s much easier for me to enjoy a book with an ass for the hero, but he heroine is likable, than a hero I’m mad about, the the heroine is unsympathetic.
Exactly. As a reader I naturally put myself in the heroine’s shoes, but if she’s a straight up beeeotch, I don’t care how yummy the hero is. In fact, the yummier he is, the more I tend to hate her.
I hear you on the comfort read aspect. There are authors who write perennial themes or are famous for writing alpha males that I always come back to. I guess it depends on what rubs you the wrong way. I can deal with alpha male clones from here to Sunday, but other “clones” (namely the ones I ranted about) make me want to hit somebody.