June 26, 2008
Words, words, words…..
Pet sentences. How do I hate thee, let me count the ways.
They’re the tarnished nuggets we writers regurgitate again and again, sometimes without even realizing it. They make editors and agents crazy. They make readers want to smack us. But most importantly, they make us look like hacks.
Here are a few of mine: “She stood motionless.” Then there’s “She gazed back at him.” And my all time favorite, “He heaved a sigh.”
While in revision hell, all my “pet phrases” and “pet words” jumped out at me. It was painful. It was pathetic. It was embarrassing. I couldn’t believe what I was reading! I also seem to have an obsession with the word “smirked.” Everybody in the damned book was smirking. I mean everyone. They were all “licking” their lips too. It was ridiculous.
What are your pet phrases or words? Do you catch them right away, or do they have to scream at you during revision or critique?
Yes, I have a few, lol.
I catch them in revisions, but don’t usually beat myself up about them. A little eye roll, slight shake of the head in disgust.
Pet phrases?
All of my people seem to narrow their eyes quite a bit. All that dim romantic lighting, I suppose.
They also seem to murmur a lot. And the guys tend to growl. God knows how they manage dialogue with all that going on, but they do.
My heroine tends to mumble - against a broad shoulder, of course.
Thing is I WANT to have them narrow their eyes, gaze, lick their lips, etc., etc., and usually don’t let them.
Desperately want to have them heave a sigh. Usually they just heave.
I know I have to have some. I just probably blocked them out because I can’t really think of any right now. :( Hmmm…
My first book it was, “A tear ran down her cheek” I think my editor counted and there were 17ish…that’s a LOT!
starting dialogue w/ “dammit” that’s my recent pet
I would name mine, but considering I have a book out in 2 wks, that might not be prudent.
I will say to this day I remember the book I read 3 or 4 yrs ago where everyone ‘flared’ their nostrils. I started counting them them for awhile midway through the book and then gave up after the 23rd usage –and no, that wasn’t the end of the book, there were many more chapters to go.
Raine,
OMG! I’m a “narrower” too. I’m also a “gazer.” I have to constantly remind myself that the reader automatically assumes the characters are looking at each other. I don’t have to remind them every other sentence. This is a real problem for me. I think it’s worse than the “smirking” and “lip licking.”
Bernita,
I think I do the “murmur” thingie rather than “mumbling.” LOL at “heaving.”
Emma,
I envy you. I can always think of them because I do it so often, it would be impossible to forget them.
Dennie,
In my first book, I had an issue with a crying hero. I didn’t really see the problem until I read the book from start to finish. I think my hero cried more than my heroine. It was disgusting.
Jaq,
When I see these things in published books, I get rabid. There’s no excuse for that. None. One time I read a book where the author’s characters were biting their lips when they got frustrated. This went on throughout the book. I wish I could remember the title. It drove me bananas.
Cece,
I’m almost afraid to ask. Do you mean vomiting?
Tanya no! Just upset tummies. And you ALWAYS bust me on sitting down and standing up *ggg*
Yeah, I’m a pain in the ass, I know.
>>I think my hero cried more than my heroine. It was disgusting.