June 20, 2008
Coitus Interruptus
You know how they are. Stubborn, single-minded, and ready to bunny-bump at the drop of a hat. No matter what you think, how you feel about it, or what your personal plans might be.
They’re your hero and heroine. And they want to have sex.
NOW. 
If you let them go at it every 2-3 pages, you’ve probably got porn. Plotless porn.
If you keep them too far apart indefinitely, you’ve got a frustrated reader and a dent in your wall.
So, if your lovers are right on the verge of the big sex scene, and you’re all for creating sexual tension but not quite ready to have “it” happen, here are a few suggestions for creating that metaphorical cold shower.
1) An impromptu argument or misunderstanding. A good hot-blooded fight, written well, can be nearly as arousing as sex. And a lot less complicated. 
2) Your lovers are interrupted by someone walking in—usually an ex, authority figure, or seven year old child who still isn’t potty trained. 
3)Inconvenient circumstances, place, or lack of latex party hats. 
4) Interruption by some imminent threat or danger, like the C-4 explosive rigged to the headboard. 
5) Fear of sex—somebody is impotent, premature, frigid, too aggressive, or too large to fit (which we’ve all experienced in everyday life…uh-huh…). 
6) Inclination to maintain the status quo—don’t want to lose friendship, distrupt life or business, or deviate from the plan to save the family homestead. 
7) Memories of past guilt or failure. She’s an ex-nun dominatrix, this is his first experience since his sex-change operation, they remember they’re first cousins, etc. 
8) The hero suddenly acquires a bad case of being honorable, just as he has the heroine buck-naked, hyperventilating, and ready to climax with the slightest warm breeze. 
9) They both breathlessly agree that there isn’t time at that moment to do it RIGHT. And after all, a quicky isn’t really what they want from each other. 
10) Consummation might mean enraging their gods, producing a demonic offspring, or keeping the current ruling political dynasty in power. 
~howling~
Really excellent.
Conscience doth make cowards of us all.
‘8) The hero suddenly acquires a bad case of being honorable, just as he has the heroine buck-naked, hyperventilating, and ready to climax with the slightest warm breeze.’
This one makes me grind my teeth. It happens in fiction and Hollywood; but in real life, I don’t think so.
Very entertaining, Raine.
She’s an ex-nun dominatrix
LOL…I like this.
it is difficult to balance things I think. Thanks for the list!
I like this one:
3)Inconvenient circumstances, place, or lack of latex party hats.
Why, oh, why, is this list making me cringe?
LOL.
Oh, don’t do that!
Just things I’ve noticed in reading, taken to extremes.
I’ve used quite a few of these myself…
>>And a lot less complicated.
And sticky!