Southern Fried Chicas

A couple of years back, I was having a phone conversation with one of the nieces I’d helped  corrupt  raise.  It was shortly after Thanksgiving, and she’d recently landed a job as a nurse’s aide in a prominent hospital.
She was full of stories about the doctors, nurses, and patients (as anyone would be who’d just started an exciting new position), and I listened very politely.

Until she told me her story about a man coming into their emergency room with a wishbone stuck up his butt.

No, I am not making it up.

And unfortunately for the poor fellow, it was good and stuck.  They actually had to perform a bit of minor surgery to remove it.
No word on whether the interns on call actually made a wish at the time.

Now please, don’t get me wrong.  Whatever people want to insert into the cavities of their body is okay with me, as long as they deal with the consequences (I won’t mention some of the other things she said they’d encountered).
I’m sure that whatever precipitated this may have been silly/romantic or stimulating in some way.  No doubt, some people would find the concept exciting.  It wouldn’t work for me personally—but then, I’m not into fun and games with proctology.

So let’s toss our turkey legs up here on the table, shall we?

I want to know what behavior, speech, positions, or anything related to romance and/or sex you’ve read in books that simply does not work for you, for whatever reason.  And please feel free to be as delicate or blunt as you wish.

Reader feedback is always a valuable asset for a writer.  Think of it as sharing something with a friend.
Sort of like………………