Southern Fried Chicas

A mini-rant, since I haven’t used the soapbox in a while.  I try to avoid the ____ thing, but sometimes it just rears up and grabs me by the gluteus maximus.

I’ve come across this a few times while blog-hopping (when I should be writing), and it’s always plucked just the wrong nerve with me.
And no, it’s not that I’m Ms. Perfect, and always say just the right thing or phrase it just the right way.
And yes, I’m sure people mean well when they offer advice.  It’s just that we may want to be a little more careful with the manner we choose to offer it.

It usually starts with the phrase, “If you can’t ___ ___ ___, then you probably shouldn’t be in this business.”

I may be contrary by nature, but my instinctive reaction to such statements is, “Well excuse the ___ out of me, but who the ___ died and named you Wizard?!”

I’ve heard it applied to everything from being patient, to the amount of time it takes you to rebound from rejections, to how many words a day you should be writing, to going to conventions, to taking harsh critiques, to meeting deadlines with time to spare, etc.  And I gotta tell ya—it chaps my ___.

Different people react to different situations in different ways.  So while a struggling author might fail to luck into the biz right away, or take rejection too much to heart, or not meet an ideal word count with their writing attempts, it also might be true that they have family issues at that time, or they’re in physical pain, or unable to use their hands/fingers, or can’t see well, or have an elderly parent to care for, or children and no one to help, or they’re working two or three jobs, or don’t have the luxury of a support system, etc., etc.  And however large your molehill may be, don’t piss on the smaller ones.  It ruins the ___ view.

It’s one thing to tell someone that ‘people who can manage this or that seem to fare better in the business’, or ‘if you have trouble with this aspect of the game, you might want to work on it as much as possible’.  But to tell someone, “if you can’t ___ ___ ___, then you should probably take your toys and go home…”

Please.  Stop.  Just ___ stop.  Your way is NOT the only way, and more than one author has made it with more than one liability.

Warning someone about a rough road is one thing.  Laying down a spike strip is something else.