A few years ago, an agent blogger posted a jaw-dropping list of e-query faux pas she’d encountered.

I couldn’t help but feel sympathy. I mean, agents get the same nonsense in unbelievable amounts day in and day out. Personally? Something like that would drive me batshit crazy. Talk about Groundhog Day! While the list was pretty standard fare, a couple of items were simply outrageous. And here I’d thought I’d seen it all.

Check out this little snippet:

-Titles that make no sense
- Huge word counts on genre or YA novels (that have a limited word count - if you did your research)
- Dear Sir or Madame
- Dear Editor !?!?
- Will you publish my novel (no)
- Not putting your contact information on the page (duh)
- Not telling me what the book is about
- Telling me more about your graduate work than your writing- Dropping names of colleges/professions in the first line (who gives a crap?)
- Telling me that you are uniquely qualified to write a novel (everyone is)
- This is the next… (add anything here)
- attaching files to an email that I didn’t ask for
- Asking me if, when I [say] “Mail this to me” I mean [U.S.] mail. (I do)
- Requesting any sort of deposit for your manuscript (!?)
…
- Assume that if I send a rejection, that it was, in fact, on purpose and not a “huge mistake” because you “know we are meant to work together.” (heeby jeebies)
- When I say I’m interest[ed] in Middle Eastern/Persian books - I don’t mean terrorist novels.

Okay, I’ll fess up. I actually did ONE of the above many moons ago, but don’t ask which one ’cause I’m not telling!

:shock:

So how about you? Reaching back to your newby days, have you ever committed any of these cardinal sins? Or are you guilty of something even more egregious, something that’s not even listed up there? Come on. Fess up. I promise I won’t poke fun at you.

NOT!