awhow-sweet-um-not

Since we’re on the topic of love and romance {snort} yeah right . . .  I was talking w/ Miss Lynn this weekend. I have been trying to “break” into Harlequin. I think every author has an eye on that one NY publisher they want to hit, theone that is the be-all end-all for their goal/list and yeppers, HQ is, was and has been mine! Pretty much from when I started writing for publication I wanted the little quadruple diamond on my paycheck and have (somewhat) focused on that. But alas, I have had one book or another rejected by them.

I will say however, I have been getting more and more detailed rejection letters with suggestions for revisions and explanations as to why it didn’t quite fit–this is a good thing for those who haven’t made the trek through rejections hell yet. Better to have details and knowledge they actually read the book, took enough interest as to form an actual opinion than to have a blanket “thanks but no thanks” stamped siggy. Anyhoo I digress . . . .

So I was saying to Lynn, I don’t think I can write sentimental enough for Harlequin (and this is not to offend anyone who writes for Harlequin–I *Heart* Harlequin–have lived off Harlequin books since I was 13 and stole a dozen Supperromance novels from my Jersey Aunt–wonder if she knows–and read every single one in about a week, then re-read them all and was totally hooked). There is a certain “ahhhhhh… how sweet” to Harlequin romance novels and I so wanna be that way, but well, I am not a terribly sweet person. I have my moments, but’s let’s just say it’s a good thing I have four boys rather than girls.

I have often questioned whether you write what you wanna write or you write what you think this publisher or that publisher wants to have. I realize it is really kind of a mix of both. But damn there are days when that seems so hard. And it can almost be a manic feeling that “OMG, I haven’t sold this,” or “they rejected that” and you consider chucking the laptop out the window. I have the latest rejection letter sitting where I can see it anytime I write–or don’t write almost taunting. Can you obsession?

One thing that has been a total double edged sword that may work on my behalf, I am uber-obsessive. I have ”the list” of things that need to be done be it goals or the umpteen tasks I have agreed to tackle whether I have time or not. I am loathe to let anything go unfinished–well apparently this doesn’t include two particual manuscripts–but one could say I am obsessive in how I avoid finishing them–right? (No, not a good excuse–damnitalltohell.) So I will chug on and one day I daresay I will get that dern quadruple diamond and have a huge ass smile!

What about you? Obsess much? Please tell me I am not the only one . . . . .