February 6, 2008
We Wuv Witty Talk
There’s nothing like great dialogue. It’s memorable and sticks with you long after many other details of the book, movie, or tv episode have faded to blurry recall.
Here’s some of my favourite exchanges.
From the movie Goldfinger:
Jame Bond: Do you expect me to talk?
Goldfinger: Why no, Mr. Bond, I expect you to die.
From Firefly:
Mal: Don’t hurt him. Just scare him.
Jane: Pain is scary.
From Die Hard:
Hans Gruber: Do you really think you have a chance against us, Mr. Cowboy?
John McClane: Yippee-ki-yay, m*therf*cker.
Some of the best stuff is from the older movies.
From The Thin Man:
Reporter: Say listen, is he working on a case?
Nora Charles: Yes, he is.
Reporter: What case?
Nora Charles: A case of scotch. Pitch in and help him.
From Gentlemen Prefer Blondes:
Esmond Sr.: Have you got the nerve to tell me you don’t want to marry my son for his money?
Lorelei Lee: It’s true.
Esmond Sr.: Then what do you want to marry him for?
Lorelei Lee: I want to marry him for YOUR money.
And this is from a current a wip of mine. In this scene, Winston has just met Raine at a bar:
Winston: “Uh-oh. She’s thinking. She’s thinking, ‘but he’s a stranger’.” His voice was low and softly mocking. “But just think, I won’t be a stranger tomorrow morning.”
Raine: “No. You’ll just be a memory.”
Winston:“Oooo.” He grimaced. “I’ll need a drink to recover from that one. What are you having?” He signaled to the bartender.
Raine: “Am I recovering from something too?”
Winston: “My devastating charm?”
Raine:“I’ll have a ginger ale.”
So how about you guys? Post some of your favourite dialogue exchange–tv, books, movies– in the comments.
“I’ll have a ginger ale.”
LOL! I liked Raine and Winston the best. Good post.
Thank you Bernard.
I’ll have to admit those two are my favourite H/h.
I could come up with a lot of one liners from Simpsons: “Cover alls, that don’t quite cover all!”
“Especially Bart, but especially Lisa!”
“No Lisa, you’re hands are too small!”
And Seinfield: “Look away, I’m hideous!”
“Are you saying you want a peice of me?”
“Serenity now!”
Or Arnold Swarzenegger:
“Hasta La vista, Baby.”
“You know when I said I’d kill you last? I lied.”
lol.
But those are all within context. They’re only really funny if you remember the set up for them. I’m surprised I couldn’t remember more stuff from books.
I’m looking forward to what you guys come up with. I need mid-week chuckles, darn it!
From my manuscript mavens entry on Sunday:
“Where’s the package, I…Cara.”
“In your pants, okay!”
from a WIP……
Becky again, “our twenty-year reunion is next month. Leave me your address so I can send you some info. It’s gonna be a ton of fun.”
“I can’t believe it’s been twenty years.” And I had no intention of leaving Becky my address.
“I can’t believe I’m almost forty.”
“I can’t believe my daughter’s almost forty and I have no grandchildren.” Mom plopped down in the dryer on my other side and picked up a battered Ladies Home Journal as Jo adjusted the dryer. “What would your father say?”
“I don’t know…you talked him to death,” I muttered.
From Rosina Lippi’s “Tied to the Tracks”:
“You’ve got to give the old woman credit,” Rivera said later. “She’s got style.”
“So did Machiavelli,” said Angie.
And my favorite zinger from TTTT is another of Angie’s lines:
“Anthea, you know the difference between a Catholic mother and a Rottweiler? Eventually the Rottweiler lets go.”
Cece, I liked the package one, but this:
“What would your father say?”
“I don’t know…you talked him to death,” I muttered.
Made me laugh out loud.
Lynn, I think you just convinced me to go buy TTT. lol. (Especially the Rottie line. lol.)
Keep em coming folks.
LOVE the Winston-Raine stuff Vanessa, lol!
And here I am, old movie buff, drawing a complete blank.
I’ll have to come back…
From a paranormal I’ve been fiddling with:
Ethan ran down the hallway after Michael. “You can’t possibly meet her tonight. I need to run some tests. We still don’t know what we’re dealing with….”
Michael slammed the bathroom door so hard the windows shook. “I’m over an hour late already.” He ripped his Levi’s off. “I’ll come back tomorrow.”
“But I’m flying to Tulsa in the morning,” Ethan screamed through the door.
Michael yanked his boxers down, kicked them aside.
“You’re not going,” Ethan barked with finality.
“I don’t have a choice. It’s now or never.”
“But your condition is too unstable.” He paused. “Michael, you could die.”
“Your confidence warms my heart.”
“What heart, you crazy bastard? You haven’t had one for decades!” Ethan scowled. “Anyway, you’re in no shape to drive.”
Michael stepped into the shower and turned the water on full blast. “I’ll just grab a cab then.”
“Consider the possibilities, will you? What if you sprout horns? That happened before. Or … or, what if you disappear in the middle of dessert? Remember the last serum? You were invisible for weeks!”
“Then I’ll call Ghost Hunters.”
“Sure, make jokes, but I’m telling you, anything can happen. We don’t know what we’re dealing with!”
Michael dipped his head beneath the hot water. “We never do, Eth.”
LOL@what heart!!!!!!!!!
From NAILED:
“The bathtub’s done so I can help,” Tony said. His way of keeping the peace which he was really good at, which was part of the reason I liked him so much.
“See,” I said, waiving a hand in his direction, “we’ll be done in no time.” Yeah right.
We still had at least a days worth of cleaning in here.
Her nose twitched then seemed to almost shrink on itself. “What’s that smell?”
“Cat.” I pointed to the mask positioned on my head. It didn’t help the smell much but God only knew what else was floating around in here I couldn’t see.
“They never paid a pet deposit.” Shaking her head, she turned toward the door.
“Genius,” I muttered as she walked out.
“I heard that.”
In my WIP Operation:Eden, each chapter is introduced by two radio dj’s Bud and Ernie. Here’s one of their exchanges:
“Good evening everyone. It’s a beautiful Friday night here in the Metroplex, warm and balmy. We hope you enjoy this evening’s show. I’m Bud Nelson and this is my partner Ernie Warren. Say hello Ernie.”
“Hello Ernie”
“Don’t pay attention to the man behind the curtain.”
“What man?”
“I’m referring to you Ern.”
“I’m not behind any curtain.”
“You should be. You know this is a wonderful night for romance.”
“Yeah, the breath of life, the fountain of youth, the …”
“You don’t know what I’m talking about, do you?”
“Romance. Fabio. Flowing hair and bulging bi-ceps.”
“That’s only in books, moron. Have you ever experienced romance?”
“I had a ring once.”
“What are you talking about?”
“It was a promise ring.”
“A girl gave you a promise ring?”
“Yep, said ‘if I give you this ring, will you promise to stay away from me?’”
“Smart girl. But I’m talking about relationships.”
“I have relationships.”
“Did they all give you rings?”
“That’s not funny Bud. I have lots of relationships. I have Uncle Vito, Aunt Molly, Cousin JoJo …”
“Those are relatives, birdbrain. You don’t have relationships with relatives.”
“Don’t tell Aunt Trudy that.”
Raine — and here I was salivating waiting to see what you posted. because I know you’re an old movie buff.
Tanya - “What heart, you crazy bastard?” LOL. Priceless. lol
Cece- “Genius,” I muttered as she walked out.
“I heard that.” This sounds like the tail-end of so many conversations between me and ds. lol.
Bailey- That snippet reminds me of that classic Abbot & Costello routine - ‘Who’s on First?’ *gg*
I thought of another Thin Man one (well, I’m paraphrasing. )
Nora Charles - “Go ahead, see if I care. I can’t believe you dragged me all the way here to make me a widow.”
Nick Charles- “You won’t be a widow for long..’
Nora - “You got that right, mister.”
Nick - “Not with all your money…. ”
lol.
From SUPERNATURAL (okay, this might not be all that witty, but I’ve always loved this exchange between the brothers)
Dean Winchester: You’re totally Scully
Sam Winchester: Mulder’s the believer, Scully’s the skeptic. I’m Mulder.
Dean Winchester: No. I’m Mulder. You’re a little red-headed woman.
From Formerly known as Overworked and Underlaid, a mother and son scene:
Aiden walked away from her to the couch. The shuffle of his mother’s footsteps let him know he’d have to do something drastic to get her out of his hair. “I’m going to get her out of my system.” He sank into the couch cushions and saw his mother’s face. He fought the smile.
“What?”
“I’m going to ask her on a date. She’ll be annoying, stubborn, and pushy.” Like she used to be. “And seeing her like that will let me get over her quickly.”
“You’re pulling my leg, and it’s not funny.”
He had been when he started, but now the idea held some appeal. “I’m going to call her up now.” Jocelyn pushed him back down.
“You’re not thinking clearly.”
“This is the best idea I’ve come up in ages.”
“That’s not a compliment to yourself, dear.”
From the same book, but a more serious moment between mother and daughter. Megan doesn’t do well with serious moments:
“Mom.” Megan said, and that seemed to take the fight out of Nicole.
“You just called me mom. Not mother, or Joan, someone did something to you.”
I fell in love, was too corny for Megan so she kept it to herself. “No one did anything. I’m fine. No, I’m not fine, but I’ll be okay. I’m the same. You’re…a little different.”
Megan took a deep breath feeling steadier now. “If I don’t say anything else to you from the heart I’m going to say this, and I want you to hear me out.”
Nicole leaned forward the perfect picture of comfort and home, and of a mother listening to her daughter for the first time. “And it is?”
“Peasant skirts are out of season.”
Oh, another one, from the movie Collateral. A little set up - Max, the taxi cab driver is waiting beside the car in the alley and a body comes flying out of a window and lands on the roof of the car. Minutes later Vincent exits the building with a gun in his hand.
Max: You killed him.
Vincent: Naw. The bullets and the fall killed him.
*gg*
I really want to quote from that scene in Pulp Fiction where Jules does on that ‘Say what again. I dare you. I double dare you’ rant But it isn’t really witty. Just memorable (and funny as hell. lol)
Melissa - ““I’m going to ask her on a date. She’ll be annoying, stubborn, and pushy.” Like she used to be. “And seeing her like that will let me get over her quickly.””
::snicker::. I can see him saying this with a totally straight face. lol.
Okay, since you’re quoting movies, these are from one of my favorites, The Mummy:
Evelyn: You were actually at Hamunaptra?
Rick: Yeah, I was there.
Evelyn: You swear?
Rick: Every damn day.
Winston: So, what’s your little problem got to do with His Majesty’s Royal Air Corps?
Rick: Not a damn thing.
Winston: Is it dangerous?
Rick: Well, you probably won’t live through it.
Winston: By Jove, do you really think so?
Jonathan: Well, everybody else we’ve bumped into has died. Why not you?
Evelyn: Have you got any bright ideas?
Rick: I’m thinking, I’m thinking…
Evelyn: You better think of something fast, because, if he turns me into a mummy you’re the first one I’m coming after.
Rick: Well if it ain’t my little buddy Beni. I think I’ll kill you.
Beni: Think of my children.
Rick: You don’t have any children
Beni: Someday I might.
Rick: You’re gonna get yours, Beni. You hear me? You’re gonna get yours.
Beni: Oh, like I’ve never heard *that* before.
Rick: Let me get this straight, they ripped out your guts and they stuffed them in jars?
Evelyn: And they take out your heart as well. Oh, and you know how they took out your brains?
Jonathan: Evy, I don’t think we need to know this
Evelyn: They take a sharp, red hot poker, stick it up your nose, scramble things about a bit, and then rip it all out through your nostrils.
Rick: Ooh, that’s got to hurt.
Evelyn: It’s called mummification, you’ll be dead when they do this.
Rick: For the record, if I don’t make it out of here, don’t put me down for mummification.
Jonathan: Likewise.
[In a darkened room]
Evelyn: Abdul?
[no answer]
Evelyn: Mohammed?
[no answer]
Evelyn: … Bob?
Evelyn: The map! The map! We forgot the map!
Rick: Relax. I’m the map. It’s all up here.
[points to his head]
Evelyn: Oh, that’s comforting.
Bailey, you genius! lol. The Mummy is one of my all time favourite movies! And all those quotes just unline part of the reason why. lol. I can’t even pick which one of those were my favourite.
Oh, I was only quoting movies/tv shows because for some reaons I couldn’t remember lines from books. I *think* perhaps because the emotions/characters make a bigger impression on me than the witty dialogue. I really couldn’t think of nothing off the top of my head. I did remember that the first scene from that particular wip had some fun banter between the H/h (that wasn’t even the example I wanted to post).
Now I’ll have to go dig up The Mummy for watching this weekend.
So why hasn’t any one quoted Angel or Buffy yet? Too easy? *gg*
Angel: Sleeping with someone is not a relationship.
Spike: It is if you do it enough times.
Doyle: Tell her what a great guy I am.
Angel: I barely know you.
Doyle: Perfect. That should make it easier.
Doyle: Tell her what a great guy I am.
Angel: I barely know you.
Doyle: Perfect. That should make it easier.
That one’s hilarious. And I love the Mummy also. Now I have to go home and dig through my movies.
How about some from Serenity? I heart Joss Whedon.
Zoë: Cap’n'll have a plan… always does.
Kaylee: That’s good right?
Zoë: It’s possible you’re not recalling some of the cap’n’s previous plans…
Jayne: Boy, it sure would be nice if we had some grenades, don’t you think?
Simon: [about River] Oh, “one simple job! She’ll be fine!”
Mal: She is fine! Except for being still crazy, she’s a picture of health!
Jayne: I won’t get et! You shoot me if they take me!
[Mal aims pistol squarely at Jayne]
Jayne: Well, don’t shoot me first!
Jayne: We’re gonna explode? I don’t wanna explode!
Mal: Jayne, how many weapons you plan on bringing? You only got the two arms.
Jayne: I just get excitable as to choice- like to have my options open.
Mal: I don’t plan on any shooting taking place during this job.
Jayne: Well, what you plan and what takes place ain’t ever exactly been similar.
Mal: No grenades.
[Jayne groans]
Mal: No grenades!
Zoë: We gonna crash again?
Mal: Go talk to your husband. Is the mule prepped?
Zoë: Good to go sir. Just loading her up. Are those grenades?
Jayne: Cap’n doesn’t want them.
Zoë: We’re robbing the place, we’re not occupying it.
Wash: I am a leaf on the wind - watch how I soar.
Mal: What does that mean?
Mal: I’ve staked my crew’s life on the theory that you’re a person, actual and whole, and if I’m wrong, you’d best shoot me now…
[River cocks the gun she is pointing at Mal]
Mal: Or, we could talk some more.
Mal: [on the ship’s intercom] This is the captain. We have a little problem with our entry sequence, so we may experience some slight turbulence and then - explode
Jayne: Shiny. Let’s be bad guys
Mal: Just get us on the ground!
Wash: That part’ll happen pretty definitely.
Mal: [about protective goggles] Fine, I’ll wear ‘em. But I’ll look like an idiot.
Zoë: I should think you’d be used to that, sir.
Mal: Faster! Faster! Faster would be better!
Zoë: Do you really think any of us is gonna get through this?
[looks at the other crew members struggling with their guns]
Jayne: Well, I might
Mal: Do you want to run this ship?
Jayne: Yes!
Mal: [caught off guard] Well… you can’t…
Wash: Can I make a suggestion that doesn’t involve violence, or is this the wrong crowd for that?
Mal: What in the hell happened back there?
Wash: Start with the part where Jayne gets knocked out by a 90-pound girl ’cause… I don’t think that’s ever getting old.
Kaylee: Goin’ on a year now I ain’t had nothin’ twixt my nethers weren’t run on batteries!
Mal: Oh, God! I can’t *know* that!
Jayne: I could stand to hear a little more
Mal: Doctor, I’m takin’ your sister under my protection here. If anything happens to her, anything at all, I swear to you, I will get very choked up. Honestly, there could be tears.
Jayne: Hell, I’ll kill a man in a fair fight… or if I think he’s gonna start a fair fight, or if he bothers me, or if there’s a woman, or if I’m gettin’ paid - mostly only when I’m gettin’ paid.
Jaq….Supernatural has some of the BEST dialogue!!!!!!!!!
and OH OH OH that move with Queen latifah where shes’ driving the taxi?
“Buckle up for safety, mother fucker!”
ok from the curent wip….
“Gimme your keys.”
“You’re not driving my van.” Shoulders stiff, she stalked around the front and climbed in, leaving him to ride shotgun.
Except, when he got there, the seat was already taken. “Move dog.”
“His name is Scamp. Use it.”
Will glanced at her over the top of his sunglasses, then back down at the dog. “Move Scamp.”
Instead of moving, Scamp sat, the doggie equivalent of “fuck you” on his face.
“Please,” Sabrina said softly.
They really didn’t have time for this. “Please.” Scamp didn’t budge. “Move, Scamp, please.”
“Peasant skirts are out of season.”
This is from my WIP with the working title of Lonestar Reunion. Jordan and Skye are discussing an upcoming high school reunion in their hometown of Satchel, Texas.
Skye fished the phone from her purse and, noting the caller, dropped it back the bag. “Jude. Why can’t she take no for an answer?”
“I know the feeling. This high school reunion thing is for the birds. Venicia has called me three times this morning.”
Laughing, Skye swung around in her chair. “Ah, the lost love of Satchel High. How is good old Venie?”
Jordan stood up and dropped the mail back in its box. “Far away, and that’s where she’ll stay.”
“Scared of a little girl, huh big guy”
“Little girl, my ass. I don’t want to be on the meat market. What’s your excuse?”
“They think I’m a lesbian”
“That was a long time ago. No one thinks you’re a lesbian now.”
“Skye’s a lesbian?” Jordan looked up as his brother Ross came through the office door.
Skye threw her hands up in disgust. “Don’t get me wrong. I have nothing against lesbians, but I’m not one.”
“But you just said you were.” Ross stood next to the desk.
“No I didn’t, Jordan did.”
Ross arched his eyebrows at his brother. “When did Skye become a lesbian?”
“Fifteen minutes ago. Me and Martha Washington’s been going at it for years.” Men,
now she had two idiots to contend with.
“That I would like to see.”
Skye gave Ross a pointed look. “Pervert.”
“I’m not the lesbian who’s having a fling with a dead woman.”
Skye swiveled around, planted her elbows on the desk and buried her head in her hands. “I’m not a lesbian.”
Jordan turned to his younger sibling. “I didn’t say she was a lesbian. I said they think she’s a lesbian.”
“Who does?”
“They do.”
“Who?”
“I don’t know.”
“Third base” Skye pushed back the chair and stood up.
Bailey, I love Firefly. But then again Whedon is the king of snark, imo. lol
Cece, Supernatural kicks arse!
Great excerpts ladies!
Thanks to everyone who joined in the fun.
Jayne: Shiny. Let’s be bad guys
WOOT!!! I swear Firefly has some of the best lines too!!!!!! I love teh back and forth they had.
Jaq I”m only just now finishing up season one of Buffy
Buffy only gets better, Cece. (But i think Angel (show) eventually blew Buffy (show) away.)