December 7, 2007
Snark ‘N Serve
The following incident actually happened to an author I know (who shall remain nameless).
But let’s put YOU in the driver’s seat instead.
You’ve written a book with a good, hot sex scene or six.
You’re doing a book signing for that novel at a well-known franchise bookstore.
Having waited his turn in line, a gentleman steps forward with your book in his hand. Mr. Joe Average. Clean. Well-dressed, amicable.
He leans forward slightly as he hands you the volume and whispers, with just a hint of a smile:
“It made me hard.”
What in the world would you say in return?
Let’s have your responses, ladies. Serve him. Got snark? A snappy response? Let’s hear it!
Or would you just take it as a compliment, thank the gentleman, and send him on his horny little way? 
“I’m glad you enjoyed it.”
I’d probably smile, flutter my eyelashes and thank him.
( and try my damnest not to look down at his pants…)
Funny though it’s the one thing about writing romance that no one speaks out loud about.
LOL, Bernita. I’m not a lady; but from one guy’s POV, if you write erotic romance novels, what reaction from your male fans do you expect? If you wrote a children’s book, you ought to be dialing 911, but erotic romance? In any case, the author should be worrying less about a response, and more about having her stun gun and pepper spray in hand on the way to her car after the signing. It reads like the guy was complimenting the author in a crude way; but nowadays, respond politely, and keep your eyes open when leaving the bookstore.
( and try my damnest not to look down at his pants…)
And then I’d probalby check his left ring finger
Everyone’s being so civilized!
Must confess—my first thought was to ask him if he wanted me to autograph that too.
But nooo…I’d never really say such a thing…
“I’m glad you enjoyed it.”
A very professional response, Tanya.
I’d probably smile, flutter my eyelashes and thank him.
( and try my damnest not to look down at his pants…)
Bernita, lol!!
If I didn’t know you were in Canada, I’d say that was a very Southern girl type of response.
Funny though it’s the one thing about writing romance that no one speaks out loud about.
True, Mel. You hear very little (publicly) about such things.
I do, however, remember reading something about a certain romance author who felt forced to hire a bodyguard. Ack.
…but from one guy’s POV, if you write erotic romance novels, what reaction from your male fans do you expect?
Hmmm. That’s a whole blog subject in itself, Bernard.
And is it weird that I never really thought too much about guys READING women’s erotic romance?
…And then I’d probalby check his left ring finger…
Yep.
Southern girl.
I would have totally said, “Glad I could help.” now if I were single…. not sure I wouldn’t have totally hit on the dude if he was cute.
This is a very shallow, stereotypical answer - but since you said “Clean, well-dressed, amicable”, I would have been complimented and said “Thank You.”
But had he been sleezy looking, bad breath, etc. I would have said “Must have been an unusual experience.”
Yep.
Southern girl.
“It made me hard.”
Bailey–or “You’re Welcome”
“True, Mel. You hear very little (publicly) about such things.
I do, however, remember reading something about a certain romance author who felt forced to hire a bodyguard. Ack.”
Not only that, but also am I the only person who gets hot under their color when reading a very good love scene?
and this face looks like it’s doing something else entirely or my mind can just be in the gutter this morning.
I’m torn between ‘That’s nice.” and “First time?”
I agree with Melissa, male or female a comment/compliment of that sort would make me uncomfortable. But with a guy there’s an added subtext. I’m not cutting him any slack here. I can exchange sexual innuendos till the cows come home with some of the guys I know. But that’s an individual judgement base on personality, etc. It’s all fun and there’s *no desrespect*. So I’m no uptight prude.
But I think this guy said what he did deliberately (to get his jollies). Same way some jerk will walk by you on the street and say ‘nice tits.’
Come to think of it, another response would be to repeat what he said, but louder. “IT MADE YOU HARD? REALLY? GLAD YOU HAD A GOOD TIME READING IT. ”
Guaranteed he would never try that shit again on another unsuspecting erotica writer.
No Mel, you’re mind isn’t in the gutter. That smilie has mad skilz. lol.
Hmmm. That’s a whole blog subject in itself, Bernard.
And is it weird that I never really thought too much about guys READING women’s erotic romance?
Yea, kind of, Raine; but then again, I didn’t know women owned erotic romance. :)
…not sure I wouldn’t have totally hit on the dude if he was cute.
Welcome to Southern Fried Chicas, ladies and gentlemen!
Melissa
Note to pervs…
Dress well and use mouthwash…
“Wanna be my new research partner?”
another response would be to repeat what he said, but louder. “IT MADE YOU HARD? REALLY? GLAD YOU HAD A GOOD TIME READING IT. ”
THAT’S my girl!
THAT’S what I’m talkin’ ’bout!!”
I didn’t know women owned erotic romance. :)
You’re right, Bernard. They don’t.
I meant that it suddenly occurred to me that guys MIGHT get a charge out of women’s erotic fiction, and I don’t know why it didn’t occur to me before.
Hot is hot.
You grin and tell him to buy all your books which will guarantee him more hardness.
Thank you, come again
Thank you, come again
Thank you, come again
Ames -
No, seriously Bernard…my first ever CP was a man!!!!!! and he wrote some GOOD SHIT!
Cece = VERY
I am laughing myself sick! over these responses.
GREAT question, Raine!
What if - caught off guard and not sure she heard him right - the surprised writer actually said “come again?”
Oh, oh, oh!
I think I’d say…
“I do what I can.”