October 19, 2007
Wallbangers
I’ve always thought of books as near-sacred things. Don’t write in them, use highlighters, don’t dog-ear.
So something about that book really has to chap my hide for me to toss it against a wall.
It happens very rarely, but I’m ashamed to say it has happened.
A couple of examples?
A romance novel (re-issue, to be fair) in which the very sympathetic heroine spends the entire book wondering, doubting, second-guessing about whether the hero has any feelings for her. His fiery, intense gazes, occasional grunts, and brooding silences left her wondering until the very end. It left me wondering too, since I read all the way through, waiting for a sign, a sentence, a paragraph, a chapter—SOMETHING—from his pov.
THERE WERE NONE. 
BAM!!! 
Another? An erotic romance. Well-written, even had a bit of mystery with it. My only problem? The heroine diddled every man in that small town before she finally got to the hero—and suddenly decided it was love. I am NOT exaggerating. And don’t get me wrong. I’ve written a menage myself, and one of my current heroines has an adventure or two with other men.
BUT EVERY MAN IN TOWN?! 
BAM!!!
So let’s hear it. No author’s or character’s names, please, let’s play nice.
Have you ever really done the wallbanging thing? If so, what brought it on?
I feel the same way about books and it takes a lot to turn my crank.
I don’t wall-bang. I just drop them over the side of the bed into the wastebasket. ( And then I fish them out and give them away.
Two things:
When the characters are stoopid; and when the writer obviously thinks the readers are.
I actally threw one against the wall once . . . . the heroine (okay this was not a romance, but still . . . ) marries her beau–a long time on again off again beau–in about the last three of four chapters of the book. The end of the book the “bad guy” kills the man for no other reason than he can . . . .
I was so pissed I will NEVER read this author again
Are you kidding? I do this at least twice a month. The book actually hits my wall. Said wall actually has marks. My reasons?
Hmmmm…
Sucky ending.
Sucky characters.
Sucky plot.
Sucky writing.
Or all of the above. Sometimes the book hits the wall after only a few pages, while other times I’ll be halfway through …. or, on very RARE occasions I’ll suffer through the entire tome, get to the last page and then BAM! The book gets pitched within seconds of me reading the last word.
I don’t throw them, but I did toss one in the garbage. I felt kind of guilty, but it was so bad that I couldn’t even pass it on to anyone else. Heroine (virginal, sweet and innocent) bangs every male character in the book. All of them. Sometimes more than one at a time. The hero bangs every female in the book. Every once in a while, they watched other people bang each other. Just to liven things up a little.
And plot? Ummm, no. Not even close.
Then there was the book that was a romance novel…right up until the heroine died in childbirth at the end of the book. It was as if the author finally realized that he/she was actually writing one of those “trashy romance novels” and had to do something…anything to bring it back up to something of *real* literary worth. Bang! Let’s have a miserable ending! Problem solved!
I can’t think of a wallbanger though I”m sure I’ve read one
It seems, for me, it’s mostly MEH books that I get.
And the MEH Kiss of Death is….if I can see the writing
I have this problem where I have to finish the book no matter what. It is my cross to bare. So most BAD, really BAD, book gets thrown after I’m done and my own self-disgust for needing to finish has become too much.
Melissa I am like that too, (the gotta-finish-or-else) what I have learned to do is just read over the dialogue if it is especially bad. you can zip through the book, get the gist of what’s going on and get through it as quick as possible!
The throw them at the wall are the ones that blind side me (I am still pissed about that book! and it’s been 5 or 6 years!)
When the characters are stoopid; and when the writer obviously thinks the readers are.
Bernita, we are on the same non-dog-earred page there. Agree!
Dennie, that SUCKS!!
Geez, Tanya—after only a few pages? Have you painted a target on that wall yet?
Sela—ack!! That was NOT a romance novel. Love story, perhaps, but…ack!
And the MEH Kiss of Death is….if I can see the writing
Great point, Ames. Hadn’t thought of that one but yeah, that would be very irritating.
I have this problem where I have to finish the book no matter what…
Mel, I had the same problem when I was a lot younger.
I’ve grown out of it, lol. Life is short, and there are too many books I’d like to experience.
I haven’t read any wallbangers lately, I did read one (a vampire novel) where, frankly Scarlet, I just couldn’t care…about the main characters, their situation, the whole souls in jeopardy, anything. I did read a book once where the author actually credited her heroine with inventing the garage door opener (not what she intended, I don’t think). Very weird.
Ann—no concern for souls in jeopardy??
Definitely wallbanger material…
Life is short, and there are too many books I’d like to experience.
Too many GOOD books
Vee it sucks and it happens to me a lot!