September 7, 2007
A Condom Kind of Love
I picked up an old favorite erotic novel to read about a week ago (inspiration, y’know), and for the first time noticed this statement at the front, before the story even began:
“In real life, always practise safe sex.”
It interested me because that’s been something that’s occasionally nagged at me when writing my own work.
I don’t write hard-core realism. There’s always a bit of fantasy about my published stories, whether it’s werewolves or alternate worlds, or just a touch of the comedic. So I felt somewhat justified in not having my characters practice what would, in the ‘real’ world, be considered “safe sex”.
I must also confess that it seemed a pain in the ass to me to halt the riveting momentum of a hot sex scene to have the hero/heroine pause to fumble with a condom—no matter how sensually or artistically it’s put on.
It also seemed to be that, if you’re old enough to be reading this stuff, you should be old enough to KNOW about protecting yourself—a fantasy, perhaps, but there it is.
I rather liked the idea of having this sentence at the start, before the story even began, rather than interrupting each erotic scene with a ‘reality reminder’, but I’m curious. How does everyone else feel about this issue?
Does it distract you if the author brings up birth control, condoms, or STDs?
Would you prefer having something like this at the beginning of the book, or do you credit the reader’s judgement and feel comfortable about not mentioning such things at all?



I like to believe that my readers are smart enough to know that if you have sex with an alien that you should use some kind of protection. Even so, I tend to mention something somewhere in the book that they are safe from disease, if I don’t have them use a condom.
As a reader, the whole thing is a fantasy to me so I don’t mind if it’s not mentioned.
I don’t like writing it and I don’t like reading about condoms, especially if oral sex is the lead-in topic - lol - just the THOUGHT of latex in my mouth kills that one. I think the reader is smart enough without my advertising safe sex, and…I dunno…I just wonder where the hell it’ll end, ya know? Telling them what condoms to buy, where to buy them, what aisle, whether for short and wide or long and skinny peckers. The further we deviate from the actual ROMANCE in a romance, the harder it is to entertain readers (or myself as writer) - IMO. I just don’t want to read (or write) a romance that sounds like an info-mercial.
I don’t like these authorial insertions…
Nor do I care for CYA publisher admonitions.
What next?
Notices to drink responsibly in detective stories, or speed kills in car-chase thrillers?
I usually do have the characters use condoms, then later the “lack” of one becomes and issue in the story.
I remember a workshop a few years ago and the speaker was harping on make them use condoms! Granted she was a category-type writer so maybe that makes the diff–dunno
I like to believe that my readers are smart enough to know that if you have sex with an alien that you should use some kind of protection.
I love the simplicity of that off-the-wall statement, lol!
…just the THOUGHT of latex in my mouth kills that one.
Bernita, that’s because you’re a grown-up.
I remember a workshop a few years ago and the speaker was harping on make them use condoms!
Dennie, I know some authors feel very strongly about making a statement for safe sex.
I’ve also heard that some publishers ‘ask’ that their authors mention it.
Must say, I don’t like the idea of having it in the storyline proper. I do think it interferes with the fantasy.
But if a publisher INSISTED, I’d prefer to have it at the front or back, rather than at a climactic moment (pun intended).
if you have sex with an alien that you should use some kind of protection.
Priceless!!!!!!!
I like to belive if I mention it once, you can assume they’re always going to practice safe sex. Frankly condoms are a pain in the ass. Not so bad to write but if they make the reader stop and think about what a pain in the ass condoms are in real life you’ve lost them. Or about that condom that broke………yeah bad.
Frankly condoms are a pain in the ass.
I am SO not going there.

Frankly condoms are a pain in the ass.
I am SO not going there.

I’ve only written one book where the question might have come up, and it didn’t so now there is the usual result of such actions. Frankly, I hadn’t given it much thought, but then I’m still figuring out the plot (sigh).
Don’t worry, Ann. It’ll crop up eventually, lol.
I am SO not going there.
I never met a condom that got me pregnant