April 5, 2007
UWPs
WTF? I posted this and WordPress gave me NOTHING. So I’ll try again.
You know, every now and then you just HAVE to award UWP (Useless Whore Points) to folks around you because…well, they just deserve it.
The rules for awarding UWPs are…well, there really aren’t any. Basically it’s for folks who have done a completely useless act.
1 UWP to fucking WordPress this morning for fucking up my post and deleting my ONE small moment of brilliance.
1 UWP to the bitch in the red POS that nearly ran me off the road this morning. You might want to plan ahead next time before you DIVE toward an exit and nearly kill people in your wake. You stupid bitch.
1 UWP to the blondie Butt-Her-Face beotch who sat down next to me and The Man at an empty bar and horded in on our conversation. And by that I mean, she kept talking to HIM. Sha. As if you’d ever have a shot in hell with him, honey. Especially with me sitting right next to him and my hand on his crotch clearly marking him as my territory. HAR.
1 UWP to SH 121 because it was shut down last night and caused me to go 114 East which is the opposite direction from home. This is a collective UWP for the accident that shut down the entrance ramp to 121 so I couldn’t get home from my date last night.
5 UWPs to all the losers who cheated and tried to cut in line while being diverted to aforementioned POS highway. I waited my turn buddy. Now you wait yours.
2304981 UWPs to the chickie who eavesdropped on my personal and private conversation, told me she eavesdropped, and then wanted to DISCUSS my situation. Clearly, she has no idea how to conduct herself as a human being and therefore gets the UW of the Week Award. Congratulations! You’re a Useless Whore!
There. I’m so glad I got that off my chest. I feel much better now. :cool:
So. Who do you want to award a UWP to?



One UWP to me: For being a useless whore…Mik knows why. I need to find a good therapist.
I give a bajillion points to the woman down the street whose freaking pit bull and rotwhiler (sp) followed me while walking my kids home from school Tuesday and scratched and amlost bit Mini-Me then the next day is standing outside her house looking at me as if it is MY fault the section of fense that is propped up by um - - not a goddamned thing - - fell over and said beasts followed me . . . animal control… hello, there are these dogs……
OMFG
1000 UWP to AT&T phone co for not changing my phone service like I asked and nailing me with ANOTHER 90.00 phone bill. Bastards
PS I’m so stealing UWP and putting it in a book
AMES! I’m so happy you’re stealing it!!
Mik - Can I borrow it too? It’s brilliant.
Can I create the UP (useless prick) of the World Award?
If so, I would award that to my daughter’s idiot of a boyfriend that showed up at my house at Midnight on Sunday night, banging on my door and ringing my doorbell - waking everyone in the damn neighborhood up - and then refusing to leave.
Teenage drama is pissing me off royally lately.
NRH police department just loves me now.
Does anyone know a good, dare I say it, HITMAN??? (I think I’m kidding…)
Lynn
Hey Lynn - You can totally liberate it if you wish. The more UWPs spread, the better place the world will be ;)
And WOW - I’d certainly say the UPA (Useless Prick Award) certainly is in order…
Thanks, Michelle. I think I’ll find a way to use it
As for the UP Award? There are no words to describe the audacity or arrogance of this #(%97r who likes to inform me that he’s 18, so he’s an adult… BLAH BLAH BLAH. All while trying to get my daughter on this boat with him