December 21, 2006
WTF?
It seems to be a recurring theme these last few days. WTF? Seriously!
For those of you who don’t read my daily blog, I’m going to re-post an entry here because I was HIGHLY agitated by this rude woman (and I’m just drawing a total blank of what to blog about today…lol). I MUST share with fellow Chicas. So… without further ado… here it is!
Tuesday morning I went to my son’s holiday (it seems Christmas is taboo these days *scowl*) party at school. I am so glad I went, even though – for whatever reason – I was kind of dreading it. It was drizzling and rainy and just gross out so I wasn’t thrilled to drive in it. Anyway, it was fun – I got to read to some of the kids while a couple of the other groups finished up their activities. They are all so cute!
I helped the baby boy (okay he’s 5, but you know…) put a string on his ornament and use the glittery pens (got glitter ALL over me) and then I even helped two of the cutest little girls EVER at the same table – both blonde and both adorable.
I tend to shy away from talking to other parents; I’d rather hang out with the kids (which is TOTALLY weird because I’m really not a kid person). It’s not that I’m anti-social (okay, a little), but it’s just that I’ve found I get asked questions I really don’t want to answer. Example. As I was standing with one of the other moms, she asked me where I worked. Small talk. Okay, I’m cool with that. So I told her where I worked and what kind of company it was and what I did for them.
Then I get this question: “So is he your youngest or your oldest?” Immediately assuming I have more than one.
“He’s the only,” I said.
“Oh. Are you planning to have more?”
Okay, maybe it’s just me – and my current state of mind – but I was completely offended by this question. Why is it NOT okay to have just one child? But wait – there’s more.
“No,” I said. “I’m done having kids.”
“Well,” she said, a big hopeful grin on her face, “accidents DO happen you know! I said the same thing and then I got my second daughter.”
“Well, his dad and I are divorced so I doubt that will happen.”
Why did I feel as though I needed to explain that to her? It totally ticked me off after I thought about it all damn day and realized how incredibly RUDE that was. BUT WAIT – there’s more.
So then she smiles that pathetic smile. “Well, I’m sure you’ll get married again some day.”
I waited for her to pat me sympathetically on the shoulder. As if being single is completely tragic.
I SO wanted to say, “Men are bastards. I want no part of that.” But instead, I said, “No, I’m done.” And then I walked away.
I mean, really. Just because YOU want to be married and have a passel of kids, doesn’t me I do. And I don’t mean to be offensive to ANYONE who is happily married with kids. The family unit is great – I came from a big family (I have three siblings) with parents who were married 40 plus years. I have NOTHING against it. It’s just not for me. Maybe not now. Maybe not ever. And I really don’t appreciate women looking at me as though my life is a tragedy because I’m single and a mom of one.
I’m happily single. I don’t miss the ex. Not a day has gone by I’ve missed the ex. OF COURSE I miss my kid. I miss him every second he’s not with me and wake up in the middle of the night and wonder if he’s okay. And if it’s thundering outside, I worry about him. I wonder if he’s scared and if he’s being comforted. I wonder if he got to school okay and if he’s happy and having a good day.
Does that mean I want more kids? No. Does that mean I need to get married just to fill a void that’s the size of a Black Hole? No.
I’m happy being single. I’m independent and capable. I can take care of myself. I don’t NEED a man to help me live my life or “complete” me or any of that horseshit. What I do need, however, is my son, friends who love me unconditionally, a home to call my own, a job that gives me satisfaction, and a man who understands how important my independence is.
Hm. It seems I already have that.



People are just rude… you know I have umpteen kids (okay only 4 really) and I have been married to my DH for 14 years, been w/ him since high school. I had some approach me - in WALMART not less - and say “oh what cute kids. Which one is your.”
“All of them,” I tell her. (my kids are vastly differetn looking from one another - which cracks me up as their dad is an identical twin…)
“Oh they have different dads?”
“Um NO!”
Who would have the nerve to say that to anyone much less someone they DON’T know - PEOPLE ARE RUDE!
I CANNOT believe someone said that to you!!!! The nerve of some people…
OH and trust me… having four kids hasn’t stopped folks from asking me - so when are you having number five?
are these people MENTAL!
WTF is right!
Ye olde “open mouth, insert foot” syndrome, lol.
I feel ya, Mik. I don’t have ANY kids, so there’s DEFINITELY something wrong with me.
You’ll just have to straighten up and start acting like everybody else, young lady.
I try so hard to be rude to rude people but I end up apologizing for my snide remark. Why do I do that?
I’m single too and loving it. And I agree..men are bastards.
Weeeeeeeeee a Men are Bastards blog. Ok just kidding. my step-mom says this shit to me all the time and I’m just like “smoke crack much?”
You know what I really hate though? People who say “when you stop looking you’ll find someone!”
Er stopped that shit about 5 1/2 years ago. You know what’s really sad? My ex husband could not function without a woman to take care of his sorry ass. :lol::lol:
“Well, I’m sure you’ll get married again some day.”
this is hte point I would have said simply, “Why?”
I’m just constantly amazed at the rudeness of people.
Raine: I bet you get “when are you having kids” questions, don’t you?
Melissa: I’m usually pretty quick on my feet, but this woman just totally IRKED me. And I think it’s only right to be rude right back to rude folks.
Ames: I get that “when you stop looking” all the time too. Whatever! Maybe it works, maybe it doesn’t. I just bitched out Match.Com for charging $30 on my credit card after I canceled their sucky service.
Tori: It always blows me away when folks feel it’s okay to ask personal questions.
WTG, Michelle!
Raine: I bet you get “when are you having kids” questions, don’t you?
Oh no, honey, no, lol.

I took the road less traveled. Never got married in the first place.
So the people I know are still stuck on, “aren’t you ever going to get married??”
(closely followed by my well-rehearsed horrified expression, and a heartfelt “Dear God—NO!! Why would I do something like that?!).
Which is much more polite than, “What the fuck for?”
LOL Raine - and I think those are even worse than the kid questions.
I’m in the Raine situation. And then I get the “assumed” look - because of course if I’m in my 40s and not/never been married, I must be a lesbian. Hey, maybe that’s why I get the penis enlargement spams! Anyway, that’s the most rude thing I’ve encountered. Not married - so there must be something “wrong” with me. Get a life. Not that I’m opposed to marriage, I just haven’t found a man worth it.
Bailey:
It’s totally unbelievable to me people think it’s perfectly okay to ask personal questions of a perfect stranger. So…because you’re a 40-something single (and probably successful) woman, then you’re automatically a lesbian? GAW!!
And take it from me - I’ve been married twice, divorced twice, and had two broken engagements (gaw what a track record, eh?) - there really aren’t a lot of men who are worth the time and trouble. Most of them are a royal pain all the bitch-ass time. ;)