December 4, 2006
Give Me Your Tired, Your Poor, Your Stressed Out
From Julie Hill’s Astrology for Writers, Editor’s and Filmmakers (and I’ve snipped a bit)
December is all about Jupiter, the Magnificent Benefic, moving from Scorpio to Sadge. Jupiter in Sadge is a double whammy, conjoined twins, douple coupons, companions fly free sort of aspect. That is, you get more than you bargain for wherever Sadge falls in your chart. For Geminis, this is about relationships with people who do more for you than you could ever imagine. For Sagittarius, it is about being bigger than your biggest britches for all of 2007. It’s the lottery gone mad, the presents under the tree streaming beyond the living room. OY!
All celebrations, Hanukkah, Eid, Kwansaa too, are all being over the top.
Over. The. Top. Interesting. *note to self see where Sadge falls in my chart*
In the tradition of Over the Top and National Lampoon I’m going to do something different today. You know how when you fill out those fun quizzes it asks for your best Christmas memory? Your happiest? Etc Etc *gag*
Well, today I want your worst!!!!!!!! That’s right, your WORST CHRISTMAS EVER!!! It can be sad, it can be poignant, it can be so funny I blow hot tea out my nose, I don’t care. Give me your worst Christmas memory. In return 1 Lucky Winner will get autographed cover flat of Hands On and a mini Total Bitch Kit (I’ll post a picture later). You’ve got until …let’s say Wedneday…and I’ll be doing this again next Monday over at the LSB Blog, too, so that’s two chances to win.
I’d go first but I can’t decide which is the worst. Ohhhhhhhhhh Never mind! OMG I wish I had the photo of me (or not) but I think one of the worst Christmases ever took place about 11 years ago. You see #2 son was due Dec 15 but he was late….VERY VERY LATE. And you know it’s hard to be Jolly when your fat but is that pregnant, you have NOTHING to wear except a black unitard and a flannel shirt (which I still own LOL), you can barely move, and your husband thinks Christmas is all about him. It was NOT JOLLY. Jolly was five days later (Dec 30) when they cut me open and pulled the little terror OUT.
[…] I’m blogging OVER THERE today, Bailey. Ya’ll stop by and give me your very worst! Posted by Amie • 12.04.06 • […]
LOL!!! GIRL! You crack me up.
I can’t think of anything but if I do, I’ll be back. haha
You know I started thinking about it and I’m just flooded with bad memories. No wonder Christmas leaves me so traumatized.
This will be my worst Christmas ever. My Dad passed away in February and this will be our first Christmas without him.
Figured I’d better post while I could.
Hmmm, so many to choose from, lmao!!
Lessee…
It’d have to be the year one of my nieces came to visit–a visit that lasted for 3 months prior to Christmas (yeah, I know–I’ve had RELATIONSHIPS that didn’t last that long)… :???:
She was all set to leave early Christmas morning, catching a train. While here, she’d found a lovely Christmas tree she wanted to take back with her. So we loaded up my car with her suitcases–and, of course, the boxed tree didn’t fit.
“I’ll just have to mail it to you, hon,” I said.
“Auntie, I’m not leaving without my tree!”
NOT LEAVING??!! :shock:
:shock:
Drastic times call for drastic measures. I called my brother, who had a larger, very OLD wagon, to assist. Remember, we’re working with a timetable here, and the train station’s 20 miles away.
He arrived. It took forever to wrestle that damn tree into that car. It’s 15 degrees, snowing big, wet flakes, I’m freezing my buns off, but dammit, that tree is going to get into that car!
Eventually, we wound up having to tie his trunk down–but the box was in place. “Hurry up!” I shouted, leaping into my car. “You can follow me to the station. We’ve still got 45 minutes!”
I knew we’d be ok once we hit the freeway. We could make up some time.
We hit the freeway. And my brother’s doing 25 mph.
Cars are blowing angrily. Everybody’s passing him. I keep having to slow down so he can see me, since he didn’t know where the station was.
Finally, I just pulled over, and he followed suit. “Is there something wrong with your car?” I ask desperately as traffic whizzes by my freezing body.
“Well, not really…”
“Then could you pick it up a bit? You can’t do 25 mph on the freeway, and she’ll miss the train!”
Hopped back into my ride and took off. And he followed…yup. Doing 25 mph.
I put on my flashers and rolled my window down. “You have to go faster than this, bro!” I yelled back at him. “You’re going to cause an accident! Get somebody hurt! Or force her to have to stay another THREE MONTHS!!” That was, of course, just before a truck sped past my creeping car, hurling a mass of slush right into my face.
We finally got to the train station. Dashing from the car, we ran into the terminal. Of course, the heel of my boot broke on the way. But fortunately, the train was a little late. She was all set to go.
I stood there frustrated, sweating, slush-soaked and limping and gave her a hug goodbye. “You realize you’d better keep that f*cking tree up 365 days a year, yes?”
She gave me a nice Christmas smile and return hug. “I’ll miss you too, Auntie.”
To this day, if I see a large, cumbersome box that says “Christmas Tree”, I will DESTROY that sonofabitch.
LOL Raine!!!
LOL Raine that’s a hoot.
You know, LOL it’s a wonder I like Christmas *blinks*. Because I have a lot of sad memories from the year our family dog died on Christmas which I think was the same year my Mom worked, my Dad and I went to a funeral home for him to pay last respects to a friend, to see another dying friend in the hospital, and to see my great aunt, who was bedridden. I just felt pitiful that year.
Had another dog die right before Christmas. And this year, I’m missing my FIL and my dog, who passed away in June and July. I know I’m going to cry when I encounter Sheba’s stocking.
Hmm do I have a worst? The only thing I can think of was a few years ago after I had just given birth to Emma. And I was having a little minor post partum. And I just didn’t get to do anything, I’d be in the other room pumping or feeding her. Gosh that’s a downer. LOL.
((((Melissa)))) I remember how hard that first year was after we lost Mom…Dad was getting ready to remarry and our stepsibs wanted nothign to do with us on top of losing Mom.
Raine….Only you babe but damn I laughed.
((((Mechele)))) I don’t care what anyone says Pets are family too and we miss them just as much.
Shellie I remember B’s first Christmas I was still nursing and went through the same thing and my family was VERY unsupportive of my breastfeeding. For Don’s first Xmas he had pneumonia, woulnd’t nurse and puked up anything I tried to give him. And of course I had no money for presents bec I’d left the kid’s dad.
[…] No, seriously—stop over at the Chica’s site, and let’s hear about your worst Christmas. It doesn’t have to be sad. We don’t necessarily want to hear how Timmy fell down the well again, and the guy with the curly black mustache came to foreclose on the family farm. It can be strange, quirky, crowded with strange people–and yes, sad. But do come share with us. […]
my h-scope …Though Saturn has been hitting the fan lo these several months, there are plusses, like Jupiter in your House of Partners…the Great Benefector, Oz the Magnificent if you will. Make a wish, it might come true.
Oh how I wish…. (I can’t tell y’all it might not come true!)
worst Christmas - at 16 had my appendix out… yeah that was fun!
Oh, Cece, that’s terrible!
Thanks for the hugs. I needed them.
Christmas 1996–Had surgery for herniated disc in my neck and was released from hospital on Dec 22. Neck brace for six weeks, so couldn’t move my head. Did not enjoy Christmas very much.
hmmm, I had to really think of a bad Christmas. Mine have been pretty good so far . The worse one would be the one seventeen years ago this month. My husband’s grandmother died very suddenly, and I was over due pregnant with our youngest child. It was very quiet that year.
Following my mother’s tradition,I baked, minced, ground, peeled and chopped in preparation… fruit cakes and trifles, macaroons and coconut/cherry balls, black forests and sinful chocolate/almond squares…goodies galore.
The fridge was stacked.
That year, inspite of four kids and MIL, I was going to do Christmas baking Up Right.
Everyone got the flu. The up-heaving-every-hour kind.
So much for that.
Worst ever - has to be 1984, the year some idiot shopper rammed me on the 15th, totaled my vehicle, sent son through windshield and me into partial paralysis for 18 months. May she rest in peace, the bitch lied to police and diminished her speed from about 50 mph to 20 when she gave her side of it. She lost the battle but won the war. We were toast for about 4 years trying to recover.
Now. Twas the best thing that could have happened in many ways. I started writing, I learned how to forgive (okay, so it took a while), and I learned the value of a life, IMO.
Mixed blessings. Go figure.
That’s easy - this Christmas, what with mom’s dying in October. It’s also my birthday, and it will be the first one without my mother. God, now I have to go back and read Raine’s entry because I need to laugh before I go to bed.
I know I know I need to pick a winner! Back by noon!
My worst Christmas ever was the year I had the flu. I was 15 years old and the youngest child in my family. I was also the least favorite between my sister and I, and thought maybe being in a bedridden state would mean I’d get extra attention or an extra Christmas present. Well that was not the case. Christmas morning had me sipping tea, nibbling crackers, and constantly having to use the pot. Then when my family went on to my grandmother’s house for the day, I had to stay home and in bed. It was just another day for me, I watched Days of our Lives and felt sorry for myself.
A close second would probably be our second Christmas here in Palmer. We were struggling hard and couldn’t afford to get eachother gifts. I know that Christmas isn’t really about the gifts, but all my life I at least had ONE surprise under the tree. That Christmas there were none. We gave the animals their presents, then I had me a good cry on the couch because I felt like a little kid, and felt like Santa didn’t visit me that year. For every year after that, we try to get eachother something little that is a surprise, even if it’s something inexpensive. Mostly because it is tradition for me to have something to unrap on Christmas morning that I have no idea what it is. So far this year everything under there we bought together. But we promised eachother at least one little surprise.
Aw look…….hey Mel!!!!! *waves* Thanks for stopping by and sharing. I remember a Christmas with the flu. I was so sick I had to have Dad drive over from NRH just to bring me advil and soup (and I lived across the street from the store). I hope you and Jim have a wonderful Christmas this year!