Once upon a time there was a girl who decided to write a book. And in this book, she made up a world where magic existed and dubbed it a fantasy. She had a heroine who faced personal loss and was rather quite cardboard and didn’t even meet the hero until well into the book. The movement was bland and boring with only a few moments of brilliance. Underneath all the lackluster writing was the making of a good story.

The girl, of course, is me. And the book is the one that just got rejected.

I’ve been thinking about this a lot. And while I’m thinking about this book (working title MAGIC WITHIN), I’ve been working on the second book. And I think it finally hit me. What’s wrong with the book is the writing sucks.

Yes, I can admit that. The writing just bloody sucks. I can tell a difference between it and the stuff I’m writing today. It’s a lot more fluid and vibrant than this piece of shit I call a novel.

Hey I can say that – it’s my novel.

So I was a terrible newbie when I wrote it and it’s so obvious to me now. I’m embarrassed I even submitted it anyway.

Which brings me to my writing mistakes.

Mistake #1: The H/H don’t meet until well into chapter 3. Hello!

This is supposed to be a romance, so typically, the H/H meet right away. This an obvious romance novel faux pas which needs to be rectified. I know - the rule of thumb is they can meet as late as chapter 3, but do readers really want to wait that long for Mr. Wonderful to make an appearance? I think not.

Mistake #2: The writing just sucks.

She did this. She did that. She felt this. She felt that. BO-RING. Too many “shes” and too many wooden movements. It needs to be livelier. Tighter. Better. Interesting, for God’s sake!

Mistake #3: Too many characters.

In the opening chapter I flooded the reader with – get this – FIVE characters. FIVE. I mean, I think this can be pulled off introducing a lot of characters at once, but it has to be done delicately. And a lot of description just makes the reader want to stop reading. No one really gives a shit if the bad guy has blue eyes or green eyes. Do they?

Mistake #4: Weak Worldbuilding

Yeah, it’s a fantasy. But just because you throw in some made up words and a few weirdly named places doesn’t make it a fantasy. The world has to be real. Worldbuilding requires figuring out what sort of money these folks use and how. Do they barter? If so, with what? Are they poor? Are they rich? Where do they live? What is the royal hierarchy? What about religion? What about the economy? The culture? What do they wear? How about the world itself? What does it look like? Countries? Provinces? Kingdoms?

See? Tons of questions that need to be answered.

So how does one fix these mistakes? (I’m just talking out loud here, folks.)

This is the answer I’ve come up with so far. I suppose one begins by breaking down the story into the simplest form. In one sentence – what is the story about? And if the story can’t be summed up in one sentence, then perhaps it’s too complex.

Then perhaps the story needs to be started from a completely different standpoint. A new setting. A more vibrant setting. Have the H/H meet a helluva lot sooner. Par down the number of characters at the beginning. Show, don’t tell.

I have to admit, though, it’s hard to see these mistakes in your own writing. And even harder to admit you just might suck. And harder still to face those mistakes and try to fix them.

Do other writers face these demons? If so, how do you identify and fix your writing mistakes?