(…With a tip o’ the hat to J.R. Ward, author of the Black Dagger Brotherhood series…if you haven’t read them, none of this will make any sense…and if you have, my apologies…)  :grin:

I have occasionally done interviews with fictional characters on my blog.  I love it.  It gives me a chance to play.  :wink:

This time I went deep underground, to interview characters who don’t even EXIST—except in someone’s warped, twisted mind…

*  *  *

Today I’m interviewing Lhover, one of the members of The Black Dagger Half-Brothers, an offshoot of the original Brotherhood.  Welcome, Mr. Lhover—

“Lhover.  Just Lhover.  And let’s make this fast, alright?  I got a bitch in her needing time back at the crib.”

Alrighty then.  Lhover, why the separate group?  Why aren’t you all members of the Brotherhood?

“Well, we’re only half-vampire.  The old man got around, y’know?  So all of us bastard brothers got together to fight against the Messers.”

Messers?  :shock:

“Yeah.  The Messer-Uppers.  You know, crud-sucking, spineless-assed muthas.  They mess wit’ dis, mess wit’ dat.  Assholes like lawyers, HMO doctors, and politicians.  We kick a little ass, take a few names.  End of mess.”

And exactly who are the brothers in this Hood?

“Well, suffering from a severe shortage of sunshine, and being half-vamp, we got a lot of bros wit’ issues, ya feel me?  Like Brother Dizeeze.  Young buck’s just spent too much time helping too many ladies in their needing, ya feel me?  Kept telling him—ya lie down wit’ dogs, ya get up wit’ fleas, man.  Wouldn’t listen to me, or to Brother Khondom, a wise vamp, even if he is into that kinky latex shit.  And then there’s the one the Messers call Khandiman.  Into the controlled substance scene, y’know, though I think we’ve put a halt to his dealin’.  His real name is Brother Pezzz.  Then there’s Brother Ooozhee, Brother Buzzkhill, Brother—”

Never mind, I get the idea.  So basically, all you guys do is stir up shit and screw?

“Well…yeah.  I mean…yeah.  What else is there?”

Point made.  What about humans?  Are humans ever allowed in the inner circle?

“Just females.  We luv us some human females!  See, wit’ female vampires, the coochie gets a little elasta-sized after three to four hundred years o’ humpin’, okay?  And once it goes slack, it never goes back, baby.  So you betta believe we welcome a human ho once in a while.  Even a lil’ long-legged, finger-lickin’ Southern Fried Chica, if ya know what I mean.  Hell, I could kill an editor, even an agent or two for you.  They don’t call me Lhover for nothing.  A little Raine poon-tang…See?  I’m also a poet…yeaahhhhh…”

Sadly, thus did end this sad interview.  :roll:

And should you happen to hear about a rash of publishing-related murders in the vicinity of New York City—don’t be silly!  Maybe it had something to do with the lack of sunshine.

Ya feel me?