Southern Fried Chicas

The kids are home this week for Spring Break. I don’t know how much actual writing I will get done–there are kids in and out of the house every ten minutes–and if the dog doesn’t like them, she goes nuts–which is every twenty minutes. Add to that the “I’m soooooo bored” floppiness of my boys and it’s distraction city! (It’s so funny how much life can get in the way of writing and the creative process.) I think most writers–at least the ones I know–the writing has to take a back seat to most everything. There are just so darn many things that yank us away from the keyboard.

One nice thing, despite no quiet this week and don’t let me forget losing an hour w/ daylight savings time, the warmer days are much welcomed and will hopefully get the processes back on track and I can get my rhythm back. It’s funny though, I was at my RWA chapter meeting this past weekend and we were talking about our processes and y’know, from one book to the next it’s not always the same. One book you may be able to sit down and crank out in less than two months and the next will take easily six month of teeth gnashing typing. I will say that when I don’t write everything is “off”. It’s like it almost hurts and I get edgy. You would think that would be enough to keep at but no…

It’s also time for Spring cleaning. (The house–check, did that, now to my computer) I have been systematically going through open WIPs that have stagnated to see if anything sparks an interest in the “I can get this done in no time” department. Some, I am sad to say, are stagnate for a reason, but others, there is a blossomblooming! I do like this time of the year. I like the endless possibilities. I like planning for Nationals in the Summer (I am completely anal and have spread sheets and have to start planning wardrobes–don’t have a spreadsheet for the wardrobe–at least not that anyone can prove   ).

My agent hunt is still underway. It’s tough getting the rejections, but taking the time to go through the process is helping me with patience–something I don’t come by easily. Still all part of the process. I think sometimes I get so wrapped up in the “did you write” I forget there are many aspects that go hand-in-hand. You’ve got to edit. You’ve got to submit. You’ve got to promote too. Everything takes time and is necessary. I am setting up additions to my Spring clean ritual.

Do you have a Spring ritual? Do you pull out the old WIPs and dust ‘em off to take another crack at them?

I don’t just mean that in a hetrosexual way. I mean I love men. I love the way they smell–soap, laundry soap, cologne…pheromones. I love the swagger in their walk. Seriously, I fall a little in love when I see men interact with each other there’s just something so masculine and unguarded about men talking… Sigh.

100 years old, in a nursing home, I’ll be the lecher pinching the male nurse’s butt. So it should come as no surprise that I read (and write) romance for the hero.

And, my shame has no limits. I have a mental list of heroes that you could title “If they were real I’d have their babies”.

1. Tucker Longstreet from Carnal Innocence by La Nora (her publisher should totally start publishing her books under that name.)
2. Thomas Walker from Smoke In Mirrors by Jayne Ann Krentz.
3. Richard De Galtres from The More I See You by Lynn Kurland.
4. Aiden Gallahger (sp?) from Jewels of the Sun by La Nora.

I could go on….Ok. Movie Characters…

5. Brad Pitt in Interview With a Vampire

6. Brad Pitt in Legend of the Fall

7. Brian White from Stomp the Yard.

In all of these parts, these men played characters that just made my heart go pitter-patter For me there was something undeniably MALE. I guess you can say they made me feel feminine. I’m all for strong and independent women. I’m one myself. But some days I want to feel like the damsel. Not because I can’t handle it, but because I don’t have to. A small distinction.  You can sum it up as I can depend on these males as they play these roles.

OMG, HAWT.

I could go on…

But I won’t.

What heroes make you sigh? What do you love about men? (Bernard, what do you love about women?)

After years of watching movies and television, I made an observation that clever writers and directors have probably instinctively known since the dawn of—well, writing and directing.

The best bad guys are the ones we always thought of as good ones.

Billy Wilder used this idea long ago when he filmed Agatha Christie’s “Witness for the Prosecution”.

SPOILER ALERT**SPOILER ALERT**SPOILER ALERT**

If you’ve never seen it (yes, it’s an old film, but you should!), he enlisted Tyrone Power to play the “innocent” man accused of murder. Leonard Vole–handsome, charming, carefree, harmless. And he was guilty as sin.
Who would imagine Tyrone Power—gorgeous, athletic, heroic leading man, and one of the most beloved in H-wood—murdering a dithering old lady? It was a brilliant idea, and Power was absolutely FABULOUS.

There are lots of other examples. Anthony Hopkins, Morgan Freeman, Charlton Heston, Kevin Costner. Guys we always thought of as heroic or sympathetic. Put ‘em in a bad guy role? It’s freaking magic, I tell ya. Not only do they seem to eat it up, but the effect is like a short circuit in our brains. Disconcerting, but stimulating. The perversity of it is enough to make you want to lick your lips.

I love a certain amount of perversity. I can imagine reading the story of Rochester tiring of Jane Eyre after a few years, gaslighting her, and locking her away in the upper rooms as he sought a new bride to bring home to a renovated Thornfield.
And I could easily see Darcy gradually becoming infatuated with Lizzie’s lovely sister Jane, and ever-so-slowly poisoning his sharp-tongued wife, all the while professing his love.

So let’s hear it. What movie or television good guy would you enjoy seeing take a turn for the bad, if only temporarily?
What heroes in your favorite books—or even in your own books, and why?

C’mon, you know you can imagine it.
Spill!

Case in Point - Never Sexay

Dear Gentle Readers,

Our lovely Tanya is out sick today so please send her some healing vibes so she’ll get well soon!

Dear Unfortunate Young Man Walking Down The Road,

Can we talk?  We need to talk.  And please know I don’t tell you this to be cruel or hurt your feelings.  On the contrary, I have nothing but your best interest at heart.  While I realize that there are MUCH more important things to worry about in life than how a child dresses or wears their hair, especially a child that’s not your own,  after watching you walk down the road this morning, I felt it was my duty to speak out.

You see, DUYMWDTR, your pants are very baggy…and you wear them very low.

Case in Point - Verra Sexay!

Don’t get me wrong, sometimes loose jeans are sexay. But you, DUYMWDTR, not so much.  When your pants are so loose and so big and you wear them so low that they make you walk funny, I don’t think, “Damn if he was ten years older, I’d SO DO HIM.”  On the contrary, I think, “Someone forgot to change his Pull-Up before he left the house.”

Yes, DUYMWDTR, you look like a 3 year old packing an ass-load of shit.  Combined with the hoodie, the unfortunately greasy, scragly looking hair and the face only a mother could love, well, the pain was so excruciating, I thought my heart was going to fall out of my chest. In case no one told you, walking like a toddler wearing a shitty Pull-Up isn’t a good look for anyone and nobody will ever believe you’re gangsta or that you have any type of street cred, mainly because, DUYMWDTR, you live in the friggin burbs.

Sorry to crush your dreams like this.

Love,

Somebody’s Mom

In the interest of fairness, this isn’t attractive either…regardless of your size, age, race, creed, disability or ethnic origin (Don’t Try This At Home, Kids):

Never a Good Look

Hooker-wear is so 80's

50 Kinds of Heinously Wrong

How my Son wears his jeans *cries*

They Have Pills for That

10 yrs from now, when ur wife leaves you over "fertility issues" this is why.

People, please remember, every time you leave the house with your pants sagging and/or your ass crack, bra, thong, etc. showing, a kitten dies.

So I spoke about my dry spell last month. I don’t know what drew me into it (but I can tell you I knew it was going to happen–I felt it creeping up on me but was powerless to stop it–which sounds silly to non-writers, but whatever… ). I do know what specifically dragged me out; one day I “made” myself write. I think it was only about 200 words the first day. Nothing remarkable, but I’d written something down. I’d been feeling so lazy–not that I wasn’t busy-busy-busy, but the guilt over not writing started to wear me down I think.  Then the next I repeated it again, then again and now (knock-wood) I am back on track for the most part–last night I was going to bed and hadn’t written for the day and I took my Alphasmart with me and wrote until I had two pages on there (not real sure what that translates to actually word count–but it’s two-ish more pages than I’d had half an hour earlier.

Some times–regardless of how exciting the story it–I think the monotony of the process is what triggers a slump. Especially if you’re not under contract. I have no deadlines. So I am only letting my self, my pace down. And apparently that is not enough motivation to do anything differently.

Can I say the down time helped? Eh… It did make me miss it–the sound of the keys tapping (and that’s a for real tactile thing, I like the sound), the thrill of getting to the end of a scene and setting up the next. Just the letting of the creative process in general there is an accomplished feeling you miss when you’re in down-time. Writing is a weird profession to have. It is so solitary. Yes, you can have friends who write who can commiserate with you, but no one is on the same path as you, there is no manual to say this is *exactly* how to do it to make it work–it varies from one person to the next. But again, I had to force the process to get moving again.

Do you get to the point where you make yourself sit down and write? Or do you wait for the flow to come back naturally? (I know me, if I waited I would keep putting it off, I am a wonderfully talented procrastinator!)

One a different-ish but not entirely unrelated front, I sold another book. Book 2 of the Paintbrush series: Wrong Turn, Right Cowboy  …  I don’t have dates or anything for it yet, but the contracts have been turned in. WOOT!